Communicating With Your Parents
The relationship between parent and child is a complex one at any age. At first children rely on their parents for guidance and love and strong self-esteem. But as children grow into young adults, they strive for independence and often push parents away in an effort to develop their own personality. Finally, as adults, we carry our relationship history around with us whenever we interact with our parents. We might even catch ourselves reverting to childish behavior and wonder just why that's happening.
It is important to remember that over the years, parents have to adjust to the growth of their children into adults and children must adjust to growing up too. Maybe it's hard for a mother to stop herself from telling her 43-year-old daughter to "drive carefully". Maybe a father can't help but ask how much his 51-year-old son has in savings. As adult children of older parents, we may feel like our fathers and mothers just keep treating us like we're nine years old. How do we bridge the gap to better communication when our parents can't seem to stop themselves from treating us like children and we can't help but get upset about it? Here are a few tips to better communication with your parents.
Talk about it. Parents and children instinctively and unconsciously push each other's buttons. So the next time your mother asks why you're wearing that blouse, instead of lashing out, take a breath and have the intention to create a loving relationship, then tell her - calmly - how that makes you feel. Ask her why she asked the question and then be clear about why it bothers you. A little understanding goes a long way.
Listen. Communication is a two way street. So when you're talking about the difficult issues between you, give your parent the time to speak their mind. Paraphrase what they've said back to them to show you're listening. If you show you'll listen to their point of view, then you can request the same courtesy from them.
Create boundaries. Sometimes after a healthy discussion, it's best to create boundaries. So if you've tried talking and listening and you can't come to a nice compromise, then it may be best to let them know that a particular hot topic is off the table permanently. Get them to agree to it. Let them know that if they bring that topic up again, you will end the discussion and move on to a more neutral topic. Boundaries are good structures for relationships.
Have a sense of humor. If instead of a hot topic, the subject is more of a tepid issue, then joking about it can really diffuse the tension. In fact, a sense of humor can be the very solvent that completely removes an issue from your relationship. Just make sure that both sides can see the humor in the problem.
Also, remember being an adult can sometimes feel lonely and overwhelming. If you have parents who can sometimes treat you like a child, yet nurture you at the same time, that can be a healing experience for everyone. Relax, smile and simply enjoy.
If you still have questions about interacting with your parents, then give our Master Psychics a call. They can look at your parents energy and tell you what is going on.
