The secret to telling a good joke is in the delivery and the timing.  The same can be said for many of the most challenging things we need to communicate.  Whether it's giving feedback, describing a problem behavior, or telling someone they've hurt you, all of these uncomfortable conversations walk the fine line between offering helpful advice, and giving hurtful criticism.  The easiest way to control how your message is received is to plan the right delivery.

Begin by setting the stage

Before a comedian begins his routine, he makes sure you're seated, ready to listen, and hopefully in a good mood (thank you warm-up act).  Staging is needed for difficult conversations as well.  Rather than ambush the message recipient, make an appointment with him/her to talk, and give the gist of what you want to talk about.  You might say, "Bob, I'd like to talk to you about that project that's behind schedule, when do you have time this week to meet?"  This allows the other person to be in the right mental state when you do sit down to meet, and keeps them (or you) from being caught off guard by an impromptu discussion.     

Have the right intention

A comedian wants you to laugh and have a good time - but that doesn't keep him from saying things that may cross the line.  When delivering difficult information, make sure your           Read more