Candice Gottlieb-Clark
First, a personal note: On May 8th, along with thousands of other men and women, I will be participating in the Revlon 5K - a charitable event aimed at raising money to eradicate women's cancers.
If this is a charity you support, here is a link to donate to their cause:
Revlon Run/Walk for Women
Now, some business news!
I am looking forward to a couple of exciting presentations in the coming weeks!
On May 22nd I will be a panelist at the Southern California Mediation Association (SCMA) Employment Conference. Our topic is Employee-Employer Relationships in the 21st Century - The Current Reality For more information or to attend this event please click here.
On May 25th I will be joining forces with Adrian J. Adams, Esq., Partner at Adams Kessler PLC to speak on the topic of
Conflict in the Community.
This seminar is for Home Owners and Board Members of Beven and Brock Property Management, and is open to the public as well.
Reservations to attend this free seminar can be made by email or calling Carole at
(626)795-3282 ext 886.
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What do YOU do when
Conflict is Out of Control?
Conflict may be unavoidable, but our Peace-Maker Training webinar is designed to help you improve the way you manage conflict. Topics covered include: - Communicating so You're Heard
- Diffusing Anger
- Dealing with Difficult People
- Bridging Differences with Others
We are pre-registering for our summer programs. For more information, or to sign-up please
contact us.
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Mediating Solutions
11684 Ventura Blvd.
Suite 239
Studio City, CA 91604
(818) 400-5670
If you find our newsletter to be helpful and informative, please forward this on to a colleague or friend.
We hope to be a resource to others as well!
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Greetings!
People often ask how I get people to
tell me things that they won't share with their manager, boss, or Human
Resources. Part of my success is certainly
that as an outsider, I present much less of a threat to an employee or staff
member. Another reason may be an
esoteric quality I bring that makes people feel safe. But beyond those intangibles which I cannot
help you to acquire, here are six tips for bringing about complete and honest
responses from those you desire.
Getting Them to Be Honest
1- Start
by trusting them - In an
effort to be discrete or to investigate a problem, Managers and HR often
withhold their reasons for asking questions of staff. This creates a level of fear and
discomfort in the employee, as it says, "Trust me" but not so subtly says,
"I don't trust you". If you want
your staff to trust you, start by trusting them. Before you begin asking them a list of
questions, tell them as much as you can about what you're investigating and
why their involvement is important.
If you can't give full disclosure, help them to understand the
reasons you can't say more.
2 - Tell
them why it's important -
What is obvious to you may be obscured to someone else. If you want to know the truth, make sure
the other person understands why you need to know. For example, if you're asking about an
employee's work hours you may get resistance or half-truths due to fear
that you're investigating claims for over-time. If you explained that due to recent
crime in the area you want to create a "buddy-system" where no one leaves
the building alone, you would receive a much warmer and more honest
response.
3 - Address
their reasons for holding back
As
you share what you can with your staff, address the known reasons they might
resist sharing information with you. Step
into their shoes. Could they be afraid
of retribution? If the information they
share leads to termination of another employee, will they benefit or be hurt by
that change? Knowing why they would hold
back allows you to attend to that resistance, and make them more comfortable in
sharing what they know.
4 - Confront
dishonesty
We
can all sense when someone isn't forthcoming or truthful with us. (By that same token, so can they! See tip
#1). Confront this directly but
respectfully, and avoid making accusations.
I address this by saying - "I'm having a hard time believing...." Or "I'm sorry, that doesn't make sense to
me". Then I press them to explain the
situation better or differently.
5 - Remove
judgment
In
asking for honesty, we're sometimes asking people to be vulnerable to us. When they must admit to a mistake, a lie, a
bad decision, or an embarrassing detail, they are much more likely to do so if
they feel safe. While you may not always
be able to provide confidentiality or protection, you should always be able to
offer acceptance and understanding. I
find this, when done with complete sincerity, will help almost anyone to tell
the truth.
6 - Let
them know of consequences
Sometimes
there are consequences to what someone tells you. They may be in jeopardy, a co-worker or boss
could get into trouble. When there is a
consequence lingering, tell them what it is before you ask for the truth. The purpose here is not to threaten but to
allay fear. Most of us fear the unknown
much more than the known; by giving them this information, you help them to decide
if they can cope with the aftermath. Sharing
information about the consequence also works to establish trust and shows you
respect their ability to come forward even in light of an unpleasant outcome.
As you work to establish
trust in your workforce, keep in mind that fear is the biggest impediment to
honesty. As you succeed in your efforts
to dispel fear, you will be rewarded with the trust and honesty you seek.
For further help addressing
issues of trust and honesty in the workplace, please contact us for a free*
confidential consultation.
To your success!
*Mediating Solutions provides a free 20
minute consultation by telephone to new clients. Charges for in-
person or extended consultation services will be credited toward any paid services
scheduled within 60 days of the consultation appointment.
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Thank you for reading our Newsletter!
If you have any comments or questions, or if we can
assist you in any way, please contact us.
Mediating Solutions
11684 Ventura Blvd. #239
Studio City, CA 91604
(818) 400-5670
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