Years ago my friend Julia volunteered in the singles ministry at another church when she had an awakening about her own bitterness. Here's her story:
"As a leader, I had a lot of opportunity to minister and give advice on how to walk in forgiveness," says Julia. "My best advice was to tell them to pray blessings on the person they were angry with."
One day after Julia was done counseling one of her girls she realized what she had just told her was nothing more than puffed up head knowledge. "It sounded scriptural and made me look like the wise Christian leader," says Julia, "but the reality was that it didn't work for me. I'd pray blessings on the person I was still angry with but then when God blessed them, I'd get mad and scream at God and say, 'God, why did you do that? You saw what that person did to me? How could you honor them?' I knew I was missing it somewhere."
That's when the Lord gave Julia an assignment. He told Julia to celebrate the good things about that person by making a list of precious moments she had with that person and to read them out loud.
"At first I thought it was a silly exercise," said Julia, "but I did it anyway."
Whenever Julia's thoughts reflected on the hurts her old relationship brought, Julia got her list and read her list of precious memories out loud. Instead of centering her focus on the wrongs that were done toward her, Julia learned to replace her meditations by focusing on good things. Stating them out loud reinforced her focus.
The outcome for Julia was dramatic. "The bitterness began to dissolve and I started to have peace. It didn't bother me anymore when I thought about that person."
We can't just erase bad memories because our minds beg to be filled. If we want to overcome bitterness, we have to intentionally replace our memories. The good news is that we get to choose what to fill our minds with. So fill it with something true, noble, right, pure, lovely or admirable (Philippians 4:8).
For Julia, this habit of focusing on precious memories has made forgiveness a habit. Today, Julia's advice about harboring bitterness has changed. Now she tells people, "When the devil throws that list of wrong doings at you, read your list out loud. If the devil causes you to celebrate that person with a list of precious moments, he'll learn to leave you alone and you'll conquer the habit of forgiveness!
Can you believe we're half way finished with 
Write down the name(s) of the person(s) who have hurt you in the past on a card. Use a separate card for each person. On each card, write a prayer for that person (not God smite them off the earth - LOL). 
