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I ♥ BP
We don't often see Big Oil companies with such a high degree of compassion and selflessness that I feel the need to talk about it and hopefully correct a few misconceptions.
First, I am grateful that BP repeatedly failed to stop the oil flow: I was going to talk about this minor spill in my May Newsletter and, thanks to such lame plugging efforts like stuffing the leaking pipe with metal scraps and golf balls (I think BP stands for Brainy People), writing about it now in this July newsletter is still relevant and of current interest. Thank you BP.
Yes I wrote "minor leak". BP's first public announcement back in May mentioned a flow of about 200 barrels/day. Nothing to worry about really. Just a drop in the bucket, roughly 8000 gallons, the capacity of a medium size tanker truck like this one.
June came around, still no newsletter: Cindy was convalescing, I was trying to cope with her absence AND an increase in orders. And BP was still trying to figure out why the golf balls option didn't work. The estimate flow of crude had by that time been adjusted, slightly, to some 2,520,000 gallons a day. That's about 1 Exxon-Valdez every four days, or more than 300 of these cute little trucks,
multiply by 30, every day
Now we were finally talking serious catastrophe, front page stuff, major leak. Speaking of which...if I could excuse myself for a minute...
Thank you, I feel much better. Did you have time to check the above illustration while I was away?
Anyway, here we are almost at the end of July: BP's latest attempt to contain the flow seems to be working, except that I read this morning that "extreme weather conditions could mean reopening the newly placed cap and allowing oil to gush into the Gulf again for days until the storm passes. If all crews are evacuated it could be two weeks before they can resume their efforts to seal off the well permanently". A few more truckloads...
Lets' keep our fingers crossed and maybe think about starting a golf ball collection drive just in case. In the mean time, the latest reliable numbers about the total amount of oil spilled in the last 3 months is somewhere around 183 millions gallons, or about 230,000 trucks which, put bumper to bumper, would create an continuous caravan all the way across the country from Boston to San Francisco.
But even though these numbers are staggering, I think we have been a bit too hard on BP. I'm sure they meant well, no pun intended. Just trying to give us our daily oil.
And they immediately reacted to the accident by handing out wads of cash to the local population affected by the spill - $5000 a pop - only asking in return not to be sued for damages or loss of income. Thank you BP. They also hired thousands of local people for the cleaning operations, creating wonderful job opportunities in these difficult economic times. That these people were also required to waive their right to sue BP is nothing but standard business practice. Thank you BP.
Yes, really nice company (maybe BP actually stands for Beautiful People...), but unfortunately quite misunderstood. It is my belief that BP was actually planning a totally different scenario and I do understand their "Beyond Petroleum" slogan a bit better now. I always thought it was the most cynical advertising slogan I had ever seen, but not anymore. I think their idea was to introduce a cost saving distribution system similar the ones that are so popular in local farming operations. Drill, open the valves and let the oil flow to the surface. Then let the people get out there on boats, canoes, inflatable mattresses, whatever, and help themselves. "Pick your own" BP style. Don't have a boat? No problem, there will be plenty enough washing ashore.
Too bad this revolutionary concept failed because the blowout preventer ( BP in short) blew up. How ironic. I guess the blowout preventer didn't have a blowup preventer.
Anyway, one always has to look at the bright side of things, see the positive in even the worst situations. And have BP to be thankful for. There are real opportunities out there, money to make. For example instead of wasting time and gallons of Dawn cleaning up the oil off the animals, just ship them as they are to our grocery stores and supermarkets. We could then simply pop the precoated birds or fish right on the grill and light a match. No more lighter fluid. How convenient. Can't understand why nobody has thought about it yet.
Bird à la BP
Sick jokes aside, what's really mind boggling is not the terrible destruction of precious wildlife and natural habitat or the loss of revenues for thousands in the fishing and tourist industry, it is the fact that these 183 millions gallons spilled represent what we here in the US
CONSUME IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS
Yep, that's how much we demand, every six hours. (Click here for more info). Of course as long as we will demand, they will supply. And since most of the easily accessible oil reserves have been harvested, what's left is of the Deepwater Horizon kind.
I'm going to let you draw your own conclusion, the thermometer at Big E's has reached 90, again, so I'm gonna wash my hands and turn the AC on.... |
