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According to a new report released by the Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI) at the Family Research Council, more than half of American teenagers are growing up in broken families in a nation where the intact, married family is quickly becoming the "exception, rather than the rule,". As of 2008, only 45 percent of American teenagers live in families with both their biological married parents, while 55 percent of American teens "live in families where their biological parents no longer live together" (this includes single parent families, step-parent families, cohabiting parent families, and foster care or adoptive families). Furthermore, the report notes that the South is the "least family-friendly environment for children" among the four regions measured, with 41 percent of teens in intact families, compared to 50.4 percent in the Northeast.
Married two-parent families are the "norm" in only 11 states, according to the report. Many children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. Dr. David Popenoe is a noted sociologist and one of the pioneers of the relatively young field of research into fathers and fatherhood. He says,"Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home. Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring." A professor at Penn State, who has researched the various connections of fathers and their children, says it's all about the quality of the relationship. Whether the relationship is between a step-, residential, or nonresidential father, he has to make the most out of the time he spends with his child. She looked specifically at the quality of the relationship nonresidential fathers had with their children and she found "the closer the father-child relationship -- not just the amount of visitation -- the better children were doing".
This article is not written specifically to families who are "intact", because as statistics show, that unfortunately is not the norm. We know that there are many single mothers, divorced families, and families having experienced the death of a father, that may wonder how this article pertains to them. This is for all "fathers", be they biological, step, adoptive, pastors, youth leaders, mentors, coaches, or teachers. Our hope is that this will speak to the large responsibility that all "fathers" have in a child's life- God has entrusted you with a very important role.
The Positives of an Involved "Father"
 An Indirect Relationship
One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. A father who has a healthy relationship with the mother of their children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with their children. Also, their children are more likely to be psychologically and emotionally healthy. Similarly, a mother who feels affirmed by her children's father and who enjoys the benefits of a happy relationship is more likely to be a better mother. Therefore, the parenting behavior of both parents is determined by the quality of the mother and father's relationship.
Ideas about relationships 
A father can influence his daughter's ideas about what constitutes an attractive and desirable female, just in the way that he talks about his wife. Little girls will respond not only to what their fathers say to them, but also to what they hear their fathers say about women in general. Fathers who treat the mothers of their children with respect and deal with conflict within the relationship in an adult and appropriate manner are more likely to have boys who understand how they are to treat women, and who are less likely to act in an aggressive fashion toward females. Girls with involved, respectful fathers see how they should expect men to treat them and are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships. In contrast, research has shown that husbands who display anger, show contempt for, or who stonewall their wives (i.e., "the silent treatment") are more likely to have children who are anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial.
Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement
Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities. Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers. The influence of a father's involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents. Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A's. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families. 
Psychological Well-Being and Socialization
Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers. These children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood. Generally speaking, fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development. As a result, children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior. One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior. This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem.
Our Heavenly, "Perfect" Father
Every child was made to live in a world with a father who loves them unconditionally. God is "Our Father, who art in heaven". Many of us hear from the pulpit or in Bible studies growing up that what we first believe about God, the Father, comes from what we know and experience from our earthy fathers. Some of us may believe that God, Our Father, is unavailable, busy, distant, aloof, hard to please, easily angered, and hard to predict. Adam fell, as did Eve, just like the fathers and mothers of today.
As mentioned earlier, "intact" families are not the norm in our society today. Fortunately, as believers, we have a heavenly father who can fill all of these roles, when an earthly father may be absent or unable to care for his children in these ways. In the last hours of his life, as He prayed, Jesus addressed God as "Father" six times (John 17). Then, from the Cross, Jesus prayed to God, "Father, forgive them" and "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit". God created family to reflect the heavenly reality that He is the perfect provider, always generous, perfectly loving and forgiving, patient, understanding communicator, affectionate, and accepting. It does not take God by surprise that all families and fathers are imperfect in living out His purpose as Father. Instead, that's why He sent Jesus to the cross to bring us closer to himself. John 14:6 says, "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". The basis of our identity is that we are all precious children of the Father. Earthly, broken parents don't always reflect God's character to their children. It is vital, therefore, that we learn more of God's character and about his view of relationship so that our children and our own hearts can be transformed by "Our Father, who art in heaven".
The Role of the Church in the Reality of Today
The Body of Christ is full of single mothers and absent uninvolved fathers. Children are growing up in a social and familial environment far from what God intended, and they are suffering the consequences. What are we doing to "fill in the gaps" for members of God's family - our family...to help single mothers and children who need the influence of a Godly man in their lives? In next month's article, we will focus on what the Church is doing to support single mothers and children who have absent fathers. Also, we will discuss what the Church offers fathers who desire to become more influential in their children's lives.
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