Across age and cultures, we all know what it is like to struggle with negative thoughts. For many people, the holiday season will be a time of negative self-evaluation and a desire for meaning. During a season of gifts and giving, it is easy to seek our purpose from worldly sources; wealth, status, and the approval of others.This battle we face as Christians is summed up by Paul in Romans as he says, "I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive," Romans 7:21. The battleground is the mind and the enemy distorts our value, who we are in Christ.
Believe there is a Battle
All Christians struggle with the impact of sin on our thinking. Self-talk that is condemning, evaluating ourselves or others in a manner that is inconsistent with our value in Christ, comes from our enemy. Negative self talk seems to win a lot of head-to head battles against the truth that we know from God. Negativity can even be described as a bully that wears us down and creates doubt about our value. Can you relate? Are you willing to stand up to "your" inner bully?
Research suggests that over 70% of our self talk is negative. But what exactly does this self talk entail and how is it encouraged?
First is The Performance Trap; being impatient with our faults and comparing ourselves to others. Also, it includes the thinking that I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself. We often tolerate failure in another person but cannot tolerate it in ourselves.
Second is The Approval Addiction; needing to be approved by certain others in order to feel good about myself. We often waste precious time trying to gain the approval of others, and when we fail, we strive harder to please others, and to win their respect. It only takes one unappreciative word from someone to ruin our self-worth. As the saying goes, "One bad apple ruins the bunch".
Third is The Blame Game; when our perception of success and failure is our primary basis for evaluating ourselves. We believe that our value is directly related to our success and therefore we feel justified in self-condemnation, i.e. name-calling, making self-deprecating jokes, and allowing zero room for error. 
[adapted from Robert McGee's The Search for Significance]
Renewing Our Minds
Research estimates that it takes 20 positive thoughts to counteract one negative thought. Therefore, if 70 percent of our thoughts are negative, then we have a large challenge before us. Our thoughts contribute to our feelings and behaviors. Transforming our minds is the basis for countering negative self-talk as well as recognizing that negative self-talk is not from God, but from the world, the flesh, and/or the devil. To eliminate our negative self-talk, we must understand a few things.
Our redemption was made complete at Calvary, as Jesus cried "It is finished!" on the Cross. We often fail to see the changes we long for and we wrestle with the same temptations, failings, and distractions.The more fully we understand the implications of Christ's sacrifice, the more we will experience the freedom, motivation, and power God intends for us.
Let's challenge our false beliefs with God's specific solutions in the Bible.
1. False belief: I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
Truth: Christ encourages true humility. "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (ESV).
2. False belief: I must be approved by others to feel good about myself.
Truth: Because of Christ's death, we are totally accepted by God and because of his grace, we no longer have to fear rejection. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast". Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)
3. False belief: When I fail, I am unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.
Truth: We are deeply loved by God, and we no longer have to fear his wrath and punishment. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death". Romans 8:1-2 (ESV)
4. False belief: I cannot change. I am hopeless.
Truth: We are new creations, and we have been made brand-new, complete in Christ. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come". 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)
Remember, negative self-talk can be countered by recognition of the truth. "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things". Philippians 4:8 (ESV). During this holiday season focus on the basis for the gospel, to avoid becoming weighed down by negative self talk. As Charles Swindoll once said, "I am convinced 10 percent of life is what happens to me, and 90 percent is how I respond to it".
