HeartLife Professional Soul-Care Newsletter

BDD is about self-loathing, a lack of internal tolerance for one particular aspect of one's body and a disturbed self-image of your body. Those who suffer from BDD are preoccupied - or overly obsessed - with their body. Body shape, size, weight or some particular feature, like James' nose or Kristin's jaw, breasts and skin, define them. For those with BDD, small imperfections take on an all-consuming and distressing focus in life. How BDD develops is pretty complicated. The questions about why and how it develops are far less significant than what to do to alleviate the emotional pain that BDD carries with it.

Take Note

Teens with BDD do not wear a sign around their neck to let you know that it is there. Parents and other adults that regularly interact with teens need to learn what it is, what it does and what to look for. "When a young woman is worried more about what she ate than anything else, it is a warning sign," says Jessica Weiner, a motivational speaker and author of A Very Hungry Girl.

Warning Signs

Other important signs to watch for related to BDD are:

A withdrawal from friends.
Severe mood swings.
A determined preoccupation wtih exercise, working out, losing weight and/or dieting.
A preoccupation with body size, proportion or components (both their own and others).
Frequent comparing of their own body size or components with others.
Constantly asking for reassurance that the defect is not visible or too obvious.
Repeatedly measuring or touching the preceived "defect."

New York University's Child Study Center reports that "BDD most commonly involves the eyes, ears, nose, skin, chin, jaw or other facial features. Other areas of concern include hands, feet, breasts and genitals. Those with BDD are ashamed of their 'defect' and invent elaborate means to hide their deformity from the world." Sometimes BDD goes along with eating disorders like Anorexia and Bulimia.

Weiner observes that: "basically if your body and your food is all you think about from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep you have a problem. If all of a teen's 'worth' is based on body image and weight to the degree that their life has become unmanageable -- this is a red-flag warning sign to which a parent should pay attention."

Fuel for the Fire

It is important to remember that all teens - especially preteen and teen girls - have some natural preoccupation with their bodies, as they are changing, growing and developing in many ways. Being aware of your body as it changes with the onset of the teen years and puberty is healthy. However, a person struggling with BDD will begin to put their preoccupation ahead of all other things. The presence of BDD usually develops after some type of dramatic or tragic events but can also be a learned behavior.

Effects of BDD

According to Weiner, the effects of BDD do not just limit itself to one area of a teen's life; it spans each and every area, creating difficulty and sometimes totally preventing any type of "regular" activity. The most common effects of BDD are:

SOCIAL: Preteens and teens already feel awkward, but those with BDD will feel especially inhibited and isolated from the group.
SELF-ESTEEM: The development of BDD robs teens of self-esteem because it can make them feel as though they are alone with this problem, and no one else will understand them. While friends are progressing nicely with their esteem, a child with BDD may feel like he or she is many steps behind other friends.
PHYSICAL AFFECTS: In the extreme, surgery and excessive use of cosmetic products put the body at risk. When coupled with an eating disorder, starving, overeating or purging food, and abuse of laxatives, may lead a preteen or teen to severely harm the brain, liver, heart, kidneys, stomach and throat. In addition, the onset of puberty, menstruation and natural growth may be delayed or slowed.
PERSONAL RELATIONS: Teens don't want to feel close to anyone when they have BDD; to them everyone seems to be perfect while they are stuck battling the demons in their head.
FAMILY RELATIONS: Oftentimes a family member will want to fix or "heal" the teen. However, a teen suffering from BDD won't get better until they want to get better and ask for help. Families can be severely affected by BDD because they do not always understand it is a legitimate problem, and their attempts to help may push the teen away even further.
ACTIVITIES OF INTEREST: A teen with BDD will not always feel up to pursuing activities and interests outside of the disorder. This is one reason why the disorder is so serious, so disturbing and so urgent -- it can literally rob a preteen or teen of these years.

What Can a Parent Do?

Parents see their teens every day and know what's "normal" for them. Needless to say, if something develops, parents should be the first to notice - and help. "I think parents need to always listen to their guts," says Weiner. "If you think your child needs help, get help. It is that simple. It is better to make a mistake and overreact than to under-react, because someone with severe depression and BDD may be likely to try drugs, sex or suicide. When you see a major change in your child and you notice habits and preoccupations that you think are 'weird,' then talk to them. Get educated! Don't judge, and go seek some professional help."

The best - and most important - thing to remember is that BDD is a legitimate mental and physical health problem affecting both younger and older women every single day. Knowledge is power. "Once we can look beyond the behaviors and symptoms and recognize that BDD is born from other circumstances and experiences, then we can truly uncover a way to help each other heal," says Weiner. "Education, knowledge and knowing when to seek professional help are the best steps in helping someone - or yourself - deal with and overcome BDD."

Here are 10 things you can do to help your child or teen learn to love their body and themselves as God created them:

Understand what your child is going through - it's not easy.
Listen and learn from to your child.
Take a good look at yourself. Maybe you need to change.
Guide and help your child - don't control him or her.
Act like a parent and a positive role model. Don't forget that you're the grown-up. Be close but don't try to be your child's best friend.
Eat a sandwich in front of your child -- and don't talk about how many calories it has or how guilty you feel. Eat the chips, too.
Know that teens today are up against the most impossible physical ideals: tall, thin, beautiful, six-pack abdominals, etc. Filter the messages and give them some perspective.
Get real. Generally speaking therapy and medication to address the anxiety and obsession are recommended as part of a healing process.

Help empower your child to feel good about him- or her-self regardless of his or her size, shape or imperfections. Remind your child of what they possess inside and the attractiveness that comes with unique character, personality and heart. They are created and "knit togethere" as God intended them to be.

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[1] Real Life Stories from the NYU Child Study Center, found online at http://www.aboutourkids.org/families/disorders_treatments/az_disorder_guide/body_dysmorphic_disorder/real_life_stories