Greetings!
There is no room for this type of behavior in any setting but especially in the workplace. There are enough stressors in people's lives, keeping the stressors at work to a minimum should be a goal. Everyone works best when they are content. I am not talking about avoiding handling work related performance problems. I am not saying that employees don't need formal meetings and formal write ups for behavior and performance that needs attention. I am not saying to fear "hurting" someone's feelings. We all need feedback. We ALL can improve. We all need to recognize that we are held accountable for our performance. It isn't about just handling this key management responsibility to improve one's performance, but more about HOW you handle it.
At times, many people are so uncomfortable handling issues that need improvement that eventually over time, they become resentful of the person rather than realize they should have been helping them improve. If an employee isn't responsible and does not respond to constructive criticism termination is often the best option.
I find that some supervisors feel that addressing problems in the workplace will strain relationships...if handled professionally, quite the contrary. The best friend you can be to an employee is to help them grow. Show them areas of weakness, show them how to improve. You cannot help anyone learn if they are not aware of their shortcomings or mistakes. We all know that the best "teachers" are the mistakes we have made and learned from.
Some employees will displace their shortcomings and try to blame the system, the boss etc, but if you focus on facts and performance factors, you can quickly dismiss the lack of "ownership" that some employees will take.
Many people come to us in the workplace with mental health issues, stresses in their lives that impact their ability to focus but it is our job to be sure they stay on task. We don't need to make excuses for them, but rather be a mentor to help them be the best they can be. If we treat people with respect and are honest and fair, we cannot allow their personal issues to interfere with the workplace demands and expectations as well as our role as the supervisor.
Being a tough boss is NOT a bully. In fact the "tough bosses" are often the most productive and valued supervisors. They often are the ones that are the best mentors and develop their staff in the most effective manner. Tough does not translate to "mean". Many times employees view tough as mean however. Many employees are not used to being told about their shortcomings and take it as a negative rather than as an opportunity to grow.
Having said all of this, there are many individauls in our workplace who will use their "power" to hurt someone. I think we know that such characteristics often result from such people that have significant feelings of inferiority and personal hangups of their own. If you work long enough, it is likely you will encounter someone who has this "nature". Someone who might be jealous of your talent who will try to diminish your credibility in any way they can. This is where "bullying" may come into play. All to often when this is brought to someone's attention in management, many simply may not know how to handle it.
The Today Show, August 23rd, had a story about a person who committed suicide, blaming his boss for the additional stress in his life that lead him to this final solution to a temporary problem. The way I see this is that the employee likely didn't feel supported, didn't feel he was being "heard" and felt that no one would listen. Regardless of what the University did to handle the situation, the preception of this employee seemed to be that no one cared and nothing was being done to remedy the situation. Personnel matters are confidential and this employee wasn't privied to what may have been done but the actions are the strongest indicators of a situation being handled. If his boss had not changed his approach, the assumption is that nothing was done. It is imperative that any situation of this nature be handled in a manner that there is extensive followup by human resources or a senior manager to be sure the situation is improving. Followup of this nature is with all parites involved.
Bullying can occur with any working relationships, so be aware of conflicts and tensions that exist in your workplace. Ensuring such tensions are addressed as this is critical to effective management!