| LMF News |  February 2012 | |
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Dear friends,
Welcome to the first edition of LMF News for 2012 and welcome to the new subscribers since our last edition!
As you may know we are an agency of the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney and our mandate is to expand and proclaim the vision of the Church for life and love. We do this through various educational, research and pastoral activities: giving talks in parishes and universities, writing documents, engaging in public discourse on ethical matters and hosting events. Late last year as part of our work, we launched our new website. www.lifemarriagefamily.org.au. We hope the site will be a good reference point when you are looking for information about the 'what' and 'why' of the Church's teachings on life, marriage and family issues. Please have a good look around our site when you have some time, we will be adding new material to it as time goes on. Pass it on to friends!
You will also find a listing of all our events for 2012 on the website including detailed information on our upcoming Afternoon for Couples Hoping to Conceive. You can access the events page here.
We hope you enjoy the articles contained in this first edition for 2012. Your feedback is always welcome. And if you like what we do, you can forward the newsletter to a friend via the green button in the 'Follow Us' block to the top left.
God Bless you and your family in this Lenten Season.
Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team |
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An Afternoon For Couples Hoping to Conceive | |
When a couple are hoping for the gift of a child, difficulties in conceiving can be a source of anxiety and confusion.
The Life, Marriage & Family Centre of the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney  is offering an afternoon on Saturday 24 March 2012 for married couples (Catholic or otherwise), who are trying to have children, or who desire to learn more about the various options available to assist fertility, which are in harmony with the dignity of married love.
The day will include a talk from Bishop Peter Comensoli and individual blessings for each couple attending. Presentations will be given by Natural Fertility Services and a doctor discussing a medical treatment program called napro-technology.
Please extend the invitation to any couples who might benefit from the afternoon.
View the flyer with full details
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Euthanasia: Video | |
Chris Meney, Director of the Life, Marriage and Family Centre is seen here discussing the important and timely issue of suffering, death and euthanasia. An important video in the light of the growing push to legalisise the practice.
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Entering Marriage with Eyes Wide Open | | |
Edward Peters - If I heard it once as a tribunal judge, I heard it a thousand times in marriage nullity cases: "How could I have been so blind?" All right, maybe a thousand times is an exaggeration, but I'm sure I (and other tribunal judges) heard it plenty of times, this heart-breaking question, not rhetorical, but real, usually posed by what canon law used 
to call "the innocent spouse" in an annulment case, but what might today be more accurately called the shell-shocked survivor of a destructive attempt at marriage. It's the question that one spouse needs, in many annulment cases, painfully to ask himself (or herself) after three years, eight years, or a dozen in a marriage finally wrecked by alcoholism or drug abuse, chronic infidelities, physical violence, the squandering of finances, or often enough, a combination of these factors: How could he (or she) have been so blind?
Without wanting to give the impression that the dismal factors just outlined always lead to a declaration of nullity (because they don't), and without minimizing the fact that in most divorces and eventual annulments both parties had a role to play in the failure or nullity of the marriage (because they do), there are a considerable number of wrecked marriages wherein the signs of these grave disorders were present prior to and at the time of the wedding, but were missed or grossly minimized by the spouse who, some years later was left asking: "How could I have been so blind?"
I think there is a good answer to this question, but to appreciate it requires one to step back from the immediacy of the crisis in marriage today, and look at problem from a wider perspective. Two points need to be borne in mind.
Read the complete article here
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Movie Morality is Plummeting | | |
A time traveller from the 20th Century would very likely be shocked by how standards have plummeted in the film industry in a little over a decade - particularly with movies aimed at the teen market. Even parents from the swinging '60s and '70s would have thought twice about the  explicit films now routinely sanctioned by censors for viewing by teenagers.
If you have been living under a rock over the past decade and are not aware of how hard-core films have become, you could catch up by viewing the trilogy of films made about the increasingly popular phenomenon of "friends with benefits". As you will probably already be aware, the term refers to the practice of entering a physical relationship with a friend with whom you have no romantic intentions - offering all the advantage of marriage without the emotional entanglement!
The movies that flaunt this practice include the much-hyped Friends With Benefits, as well as Love and Other Drugs and No Strings Attached - all big-budget efforts with high-profile casts and very similar plots. In each of them two friends jump into bed together after promising there will be no emotional engagement. In each case the film's director was saved from having to go through the usual time-consuming courting rituals that go with romantic plots before getting to the explicit bits of the relationship. In other words, they were able to dive right in early in the film - a big advantage when you are seeking to satisfy the tastes of the so-called "internet-porn generation".
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Modesty and Men | | |
 Modesty is that virtue which protects the human person from objectification and which a person uses to uphold and maintain their dignity. Much is often made of modesty related to women but what about men, how does modesty effect them? Monsignor Charles Pope of the Archdiocese of Washington weighs into the discussion with his own thoughts.
I was asked by a few to blog about men and modesty and perhaps set forth some principles for men and boys. Here is my humble attempt and I ENCOURAGE you to add to the discussion for I am no expert on this. I really propose only to set the table and put out a few items on the lazy Susan. This discussion is really pot luck so make your contribution too.
Perhaps a few opening principles and premises to frame the discussion.
- Men and women are quite different when it comes to questions of attraction and arousal. While there are many individual variances, as a general rule men are much more likely to be immediately interested by way of visual stimulation. Attraction for women seems a bit more complicated and subtle. For men there seems to be a pretty quick trip-wire whereas for women it often seems that a series of switches need to be thrown in the right combination. Men can become interested very quickly and easily. Beauty, shape, posture, the way she walks, all of this is like eye candy to men. It does not seem to me that most women are this easily caught into the cycle of interest and arousal though there are exceptional persons and moments. Rather than say women are never like this, what I am saying is that it seems a far less common occurence for women. For men it may happen hundreds of times a day
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'I was bullied into aborting my baby' | | |
THIS woman was advised to spare her loved ones the hardship of living with a child with Down syndrome.
Every morning when Marie Ideson wakes, her first thought is of a little girl called Lillie. Were she alive today, she'd be six years old. And although Lillie would've had Down syndrome, Ideson is sure of one thing:
"Despite any disability, my daughter would have been incredibly well-loved. Whatever her future was, I'd have always been there for her."
Yet when she was just over 16 weeks pregnant - and after tests showed her daughter had Down syndrome - Marie did something that still torments her: She underwent a termination.
"I was bullied into going ahead with an abortion," says Ideson, 46, a GP surgery manager. "I only wish I could turn back the clock. I think of the daughter I never had every day. I'll always regret it."
Ideson was 40 when she fell pregnant with Lillie. She had twin sons and a daughter from a previous marriage, and two more sons and a daughter with Allan, 50.
"Allan and I wanted a big family, so we were thrilled when we discovered I was expecting again," she says.
Due to her age, doctors suggested Ideson undergo an amniocentesis - a procedure that involves taking a sample of amniotic fluid from the uterus. If tests reveal there's an extra chromosome in the baby's cells, it indicates the baby has Down syndrome.
Read the complete article here
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7 Billion People: Everybody Relax! | |
The fifth episode of Popoulation Research Institute's popular POP 101 series, this video takes a fresh, humorous approach to the demographic issues facing the world today.
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Union of Sameness vs Union of Difference | | |
David Palmer - If a recent report in the Sydney Morning Herald is to be believed, the intensive lobbying of coalition MPs over the Summer months by same-sex marriage advocates has failed to secure their support for a conscience vote on the issue.
According to this report, "...the gay marriage debate in Parliament will be pushed back to later in the year to give advocates for change more time to garner enough support to have legislation for same-sex marriage passed.
Instead of the debate being held immediately - which would have seen the bill defeated - the gay marriage campaign has changed focus to increase pressure on Tony Abbott to change his mind and allow opposition MPs a conscience vote."
There are several things worth saying about this matter.
The first is that August 24 last year Adam Bandt and the homosexual l obby scored a spectacular own goal over the issue of just how well supported same-sex marriage is in the Australian community last year.
At the end of 2010, Parliament approved a motion proposed by Bandt calling on all parliamentarians, "consistent with their duties as representatives, to gauge their constituents' views on ways to achieve equal treatment for same-sex couples including marriage".
Well what happened on August 24, 2011?
Read the complete article here
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38 Ways to Make a Baby | | |
What is Possible is Not Always What Is Moral
From the time of Adam and Eve until the late 1970s, there was-with one notable exception-only one way to make a baby: the sexual bonding of a man and a woman. That number increased to two in 1978 after the birth of Louise Brown, the first "test tube baby." Today, there are thirty-eight  ways to make a baby, almost all of which can be accomplished without sexual intercourse.
Until the 1970s, "reproductive technologies" focused almost exclusively on helping a couple prevent conception. Although the tools ranged from the benign (thermometers) to the controversial (the Pill), most people understood both how they worked and whether their use could be considered ethical. Now that we have methods which sound like acronyms for U.N. agencies-IH, AID, ICSI, IUI, GIFT, ZIFT, IV-few people understand what they are, and even fewer know whether they are morally acceptable.
The rapidity by which the baby-making process has evolved has outpaced our moral reflection. While I lack the knowledge and wisdom to provide much guidance, there are few considerations, ranging from the personal to the linguistic, which I believe should guide our thinking about reproductive technologies.
Read the complete article here
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Holistic Care for Older Persons | | |
Fr David Ranson - The natural seasons around us provide apt metaphors for the cycles of human life and the internal rhythms of our hearts. It used to be said of pregnancy that, in the face of all the medical technology in which it can often be surrounded, it must be remembered that it is not an illness. It is a natural cycle of life.
The same must be said of aging. In both pregnancy and ageing, and  indeed in death itself, we are not dealing with illness but life's own transitions and seasons. As with every human season, every human cycle and rhythm, with the mystery of ageing, (and I use the word mystery with intent) we find ourselves always in the belly of paradox. On the one hand there is a demise of youthfulness, of agility, of a certain physical strength. As the Celtic writer, John O'Donohue beautifully expresses, however, it also the season in which the soul is harvested. I think this paradox presents us with the challenge of pastoral care for ageing people. In pastoral care we are enabling a person to galvanise the emotional and spiritual resources which a particular situation or crisis calls for. We are offering a person assistance to come to terms with either the crisis or the transition that they are experiencing. The question of pastoral care then, is how might we enable older persons to enter into their experience so that their inner power of life not be diminished or thwarted but continue its natural rhythm and indeed abound?
We need to respect both aspects in the paradox of ageing. Of course, in this discussion we are immediately confronted with how to define 'older person' and 'ageing'. Who might be considered as an older person? We have met many so-called young people who are aged, and many so called aged people who possess a great youthfulness about them. For our purposes here though I am considering the older person as the one who is being challenged to negotiate the tension between independence and a dependency forced by age in a deeper way, practically, emotionally, spiritually
Read the complete article here
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10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person | | |
Marriage is an institution that transcends nations, cultures and religions. As a living example of this, the article below was written by two Muslims but adapted from a presentation by a Jewish Rabbi. It serves as valuable information for anyone in a dating relationship and a reminder for those who are married.
Dr. Nafisa Sekandari & Hosai Mojaddidi - There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone.
A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in "halal dating," which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the "getting to know someone" phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:
1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don't assume that you can change a person after you're married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it's often for the worse. If you can't accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don't marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.
Read the complete article here
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Living Lent with Your Spouse | | |
The forty days of Lent can seem like a long time, especially if one is giving up a favorite food or video game. It's helpful to have a friend to keep us going. He or she can encourage us, challenge us, and pick us up if we falter. And if that friend happens to be our spouse, so much the better!
 This year, consider approaching Lent as a team. That doesn't mean you have to give up-or do-the same things as your spouse, although that's a possibility. It does mean sharing your Lenten resolution(s) and asking for each other's prayers and active support. People often find that they're much more likely to keep their resolutions when they hold themselves accountable to another person. Knowing that someone walks with us, even if it's not exactly the same path, can be a great comfort and motivator.
If you're thinking about Lenten resolutions, consider the traditional practices of prayer, fasting and almsgiving (works of charity). Here are some ideas to get started.
Read the complete article here
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The Fecundity of Marriage: Video | | |
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What is Love? | | |
Peter Kreeft - No subject is more important, in any day. And no subject is more misunderstood, in our day. Most mature people, if asked to choose just one word for the meaning of life, life's greatest value, the most important gift one can give or receive, the thing that makes us the  happiest, the thing that makes one a saint, the supreme wisdom, and even the eternal inner life of God, would say that it is "love." And they are right.
Without qualification, without any ifs, ands, or buts, God's Word tells us, straight as a left jab, that "love is the greatest thing there is" (1 Cor 13: 13).
Scripture also tells us that "God IS love." It never says God is justice or beauty or righteousness, though He is just and beautiful and righteous. But "God is love," (1 John 1:8), not just loving or a lover, though He is that too. (That's why He is a Trinity: He is Love; Beloved, and Loving, complete love in three Persons. Love is God's essence, His whole being. Everything in Him is love.)
Even His justice is love. Paul identifies "the justice of God" in Romans 1:17 with the most apparently unjust event in all history: deicide, or the murder of God, the crucifixion; for that was God's great act of love. On our part, that was the most unjust, evil, and hateful thing we ever did; but on God's part, that was His perfect justice, because it was perfect love, and so good that we call the holiday on which we celebrate this murderous deed "Good Friday."
Read the complete article here
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Coming Events | | |
There are always plenty of events happening in and around Sydney. If your parish, school or group is planning an event for families, couples, singles etc then let us know about it so we can share the news! Here are some events that we know about...
Afternoon for Couples Hoping to Conceive. Saturday 24 March. Catholic Centre, Lidcombe. Men 4 Men: A Program of Renewal for Men of all Ages. 1st Sunday of every month. Mt Schoenstatt, Mulgoa. Lenten Reflection Day for Women. Sat 10 March. Mt Schoenstatt, Mulgoa. Fr Robert Barron's 'Catholicism Project' Tour. March 4-13. Melbourne, Sydney, Ballarat, Brisbane, Canberra. Marriage Encounter Weekends. 23-25 March. Renew the relationship with your spouse and rediscover your best friend.
Embrace Marriage Preparation. Preparing couples for a healthy and vibrant married life together. See website for dates.
Post Abortion Healing Retreat. 20-22 April. Spiritual and psychological healing for those suffering the effects of a past abortion experience.
Sisterhood Women's Conference. A Catholic Conference for Women from 16 year of age. Fri 4 - Sat 6 May. Collaroy Beach.
Retreats for Men and Retreats for Women. Held on various dates throughout the year at the Kenthurst Study Centre.
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