| LMF News |  September 2010 | |
Dear friends,
Hi and welcome to our September edition of LMF News! A special welcome to those who signed up recently and are receiving LMF news for the first time...hope you like it.
As last month's newsletter was an election edition there was plenty of material waiting to go into this newsletter. There are heaps of upcoming events (including a prayer evening for couples and retreat day for divorced women) as well as articles on pain, the value of sex, dating and the courage involved in being married.
For those of you who are pet lovers you should enjoy the video 'GoD and DoG'. Down the left side bar you will find all our publications, podcasts and videos as well as an ever growing number of recommended websites, so do take some time to have a good look through when you get a chance.
And if you do enjoy LMF News, don't keep it to yourself, click 'forward to a friend' and pass it on :)
We hope you are enjoying the warmer weather. Have a wonderful month and if you have any feedback or suggestions email us at lmfnews@sydneycatholic.org.
God Bless you and your family.
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team |
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Couples' Prayer Evening | | |
Love & Life @ Polding Centre
The most important task of every couple is to guide one another and their family on the path to heaven.
 The Life, Marriage and Family Centre invites all couples, married, engaged or dating, to hear from three married couples, who will share their personal insights on prayer.
They will speak on the importance of commitment to daily prayer in their marriage and what effect prayer has had in their lives.
The evening will be help at Mater Dei Catholic Church in Blakehurst.
Forward to a Friend
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Is Marrying a Non-Catholic Christian worth considering? | | |
Dear Anthony,
I have been dating a non-Catholic Evangelical Christian and we are thinking of getting married. I really believe he is the man who can help me get into heaven. Do you think our different religions would become a problem if we married?
The only reason you would find yourself having to say "no" to this man is if he is opposed to your Catholicism in any way (would give you any hard  time about practicing your faith) AND if he is opposed to your raising your children as Catholics. The first one is usually pretty easy for a non-Catholic to permit, but the second one is a tougher pill to swallow.
It is a requirement for a Catholic to get permission to marry a non-Catholic and that the non-Catholic formally agrees to allow the Catholic party to raise any children that come along in the marriage as Catholics. That includes required Mass attendance and the education of the children in the Catholic faith. Be careful here. You really need to know if he will be open to this in practice, and not just in word. It is much easier to say, "Sure, that's fine with me," when there are no children. But when the children do come along and the dynamic of living life with children growing up becomes a reality, he might have a different feeling at that time. If he has that strong desire later in the marriage when the children are in his life to share his Evangelical faith, it could be a disaster for you, the marriage, and the children. Are you expecting a baby or know someone who is? Would you like to express your congratulations, prayers and support for pregnant women and their families?
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Is Pain Relief a Human Right? | | |
Margaret Somerville - Many of us involved in trying to ensure people who require pain management get what they need have personal experiences involving pain in our background. That's true for me. I can remember as an 11-year-old, with life-threatening peritonitis from a ruptured appendix, consciously wanting to die because the pain was so severe.
In 1983, my father was terminally ill with prostate cancer that had metastasized to his bones. I was telephoned in Montreal and told he was about to die, so I jumped on a plane to Australia.
I found my father in a university teaching hospital in horrible pain. I created a huge fuss and managed to get a pain specialist to see him -- in fact, that specialist was Dr Michael Cousins, who has piloted the development of this declaration we are considering. My father's pain was brought under control and, as it turned out, he lived another nine months.
Dad said to me, "I want to live as long as I can, Margo, but I don't want to live if it means such terrible pain. It's great what you did for me, but not everyone has a daughter who can 'go berserk' to get them the pain relief they need. You have to do something to help other people in pain." That was the start of my research on ethical and legal aspects of access to pain relief treatment. Read the complete article.
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Retreat Day for Divorced Women | | |
Saturday 6 November
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre warmly invites women who have experienced the pain of divorce, to a day of reflection and prayer.
The day will be held in the beautiful grounds of the Mount Schoenstatt  Shrine & Retreat Centre at Mulgoa. The program will begin at 10:00am and conclude at 4:00pm. The day will include two talks and time for personal reflection, together with Confession and spiritual guidance if desired. Morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea will provide an opportunity for fellowship with other women. The day will conclude with Mass.
The day will be guided by Bishop Terry Brady and Sister Lydia Allen RSM. Bishop Brady is an auxiliary bishop of Sydney with many years pastoral wisdom. Sr Lydia is a licensed psychologist who has worked with both adults and children in their times of need.
Please extend this invitation to any women you know who have gone through the difficulty of divorce.
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Video - Not Born Yet | | |
Gavin's Story
Prior to meeting Liesel I had not long returned from 4 years of travel overseas. Everything was pretty loose, not much planning and pretty much take on what ever opportunity came up. Exciting & good times. Liesel & I had met & married in 10 months. For me this was a monumental step. Not half as huge though as finding out after 4 weeks of being married that Liesel was pregnant with our first child. I can still remember having that "Oh Crap" feeling & sitting down at the table in our little house thinking "I'm not sure if I am ready for this", even though I was 30, I still wanted to play for a while yet. Typical boy, a bit slow to grow up, avoid commitment, all that sort of thing. Life as I knew it was about to change for EVER...... how was I going to cope with that, "I'm not ready for this", kept going through my head.
Well, today we have just had our seventh child & I reckon I have coped just fine. Our first child Robert is now just 17, I am 48 and back at the start with an 8 week old. I must admit that when Liesel told me that she thought that she may be pregnant this last time, I had a brief moment of thinking "Oh crap, I am too old for this". We have a boy 17, girl 15, girl 13, boy 12, girl 8, girl 2 and a boy 8 weeks. Probably my only regret is that we didn't fill in the gaps!! We are so blessed to be able to have children, we live in a great country with lots of opportunities & things will work out. I just love to watch how the children, specially the older ones react & deal with the little ones. It is great!!
Click on the image below to watch Gavin's story and visit notbornyet.com to see other similar stories and videos.
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Reaching Agreements on Life Issues | |
Be Ready to Reason Things Out
William E. May - 21st century Americans-and others, particularly in the "developed" nations-are deeply divided over issues central to the culture of life: contraception, the generation of human life, abortion, the care of seriously handicapped infants and of the dying, the meaning of sex, marriage, the family, and the kind of home best suited to help children grow into caring and responsible adults. There are many reasons supporting culture of life positions, but there is a need to show why these reasons are good and true and to help others see why. Moreover,  sometimes advocates of the culture of life can and do disagree among themselves and/or find themselves perplexed about what is the right and good thing to do. Is there any way to resolve these disputes and overcome doubts? With others I think that it is possible intelligently to analyze these issues, including complex ones over which committed defenders of the culture of life are divided or over which they are perplexed and in doubt. I also think that an analysis of this kind can also help persons of good will, yet hostile to the culture of life, come to a knowledge of the truth. All persons who are mentally competent are obliged to seek the truth and to shape their choices and actions in accord with the truth-and if they are honest with themselves they know they have this responsibility. Read the complete article here.
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Sex: Consecration or Desecration? | | |
Jonathan Doyle - In his magnificent autobiography, Gentle Regrets, Roger Scruton, arguably the world's greatest living conservative philosopher, made the strikingly beautiful assertion that "sex is either consecration or desecration, with no middle ground in between". It is a paradigm that I have shared with tens of thousands of people in seminars and conferences and one that will serve us well in delineating the lines of argument in the recent push by Family Planning Victoria to ensure condoms are made available to years 11 and 12 students in Victorian  schools.
Behind all the sophistry of Family Planning's harm-minimisation rhetoric lie the great core assertions of the sexual revolution and the deeper intellectual and philosophical currents that gave it power, presence and pre-eminence in our social discourse.
It was Freud who best articulated those currents and beliefs, or at least transferred them into the academic world where they would be given their full shape and power. The essential meaning of the bonds of attraction, love and intimacy that draw one human person to another was, for Freud, nothing more than the drive for genital sexual pleasure. Back to top |
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Video - GoD and DoG | | |
Both love me no matter what-Divine God and Canine Mutt
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Shacking Up for the Future | | |
Cohabitation...Trial Marriage?
Amy Vierboom - The Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) recently held its biennial conference, celebrating 30 years of "advancing understanding of Australian families". The conference recognised key statistics that illustrate some of the dramatic changes in the landscape of families, including declining marriage rates and the increase in cohabitation and ex-nuptial births.
 One only has to glance at the 500-plus comments expressing outrage at Bettina Ardnt's "backward opinions" (which suggested that Prime Minister Julia Gillard's de facto relationship might not be setting the best example for young female onlookers) or, more recently, the response to the article by Chris Meney to conclude that we seem to have reached consensus: cohabitation is another stage on the pathway to a family.
When it comes to children's wellbeing, AIFS director Professor Alan Hayes recognises that the function of the family unit is what matters, rather than the form. What is crucial is that children have an example of a loving relationship that doesn't disappear before their eyes; that they're brought up in an environment of love.
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Youth Leaders' Formation Course 2010 | | |
The Youth Leader's Formation Course is on again this year from 22 November to 18 December! Open to young Australians between 18-30 years this is a time of formation and friendship unlike any other. If you are a university student or if you know a university student...this could be for them...
The YLFC participants will live in community at the Benedict XVI Retreat Centre and will participate in daily prayer and Mass, a Parish Mission, Silent Retreat, Social Outreach, plus they will hear presentations on the faith, love, leadership and witnessing from 30 dynamic speakers from around the country. YLFC is also great preparation for WYD Madrid.
Check out the promo video below which will link you to the YLFC webpage. For more info email ylfc@sydneycatholic.org.
Sponsorship is available and applications close real soon. Act now!
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Post Abortion Healing | | |
Rachel's Vineyard Retreat Ministries, Australia is a confidential healing ministry for the many people, both men and women, who have been touched by an abortion experience. The purpose of Rachel's Vineyard Retreat Ministries is post-abortion reconciliation and healing for the "other victims" of abortion. The woman who has had an abortion, the person who at one  time provided the abortion, the man or woman who has forced a daughter, spouse or girlfriend to have an abortion, the potential grandparents, brothers & sisters and all who have been denied. All of these people need the help of the Church to deal with the grief, anger and sense of responsibility for a great loss.
The next Sydney retreat will be held on 19-21 November. There are also retreats held in the other Australia capital cities.
If you or someone you love is suffering in silence from an abortion experience, this might be what is needed.
Visit the website for all details.
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Video - Homosexuality | | |
My brother has just come out as a homosexual. We love him so much, what should we do? Isn't it unfair that the Church forbids him to have a relationship?
In this video, Bernard Toutounji considers how we should respond to this question:
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The Courage to be Married | | |
Courage: The Virtue of the Month
Tom McGrath - It may not take courage to make a promise, but it can take a lot of courage to keep a promise. This is especially true for the promises we make on our wedding day.
I remember when I was an altar boy serving wedding Masses. I recall seeing the nervousness and sometimes outright terror on the faces of the brides and grooms who knelt before the altar. I used to wonder why they  were so nervous. Then, years later, I got engaged to be married and got my own taste of that fear.
For me, it was never the problem that I didn't love the woman kneeling next to me before God, our families, and friends on our wedding day. The problem was that no human could offer us any guarantees as to what was ahead of us. In fact, our friend Father Rich Simon, who presided at our wedding, presented us with a list of possibilities that didn't exactly inspire confidence-sickness, poverty, or worse.
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Dating...Don't Blur the Boundaries | | |
Genevieve Fiorito - Are we friends? Are we dating? Are we on a date? Does she know I'm asking her out on a date? All of these questions are answered by making sure that your boundaries aren't blurred.
"Girls don't call boys", my mum used to say. I thought she was ridiculous. (Love you Mum!) In this day in age it's hard to tell what sort of behavior is appropriate between the sexes- on and off the dance floor!
 Texting, Facebooking, emailing, and mobile phones have provided us with the benefit of being much more connected with others. They can be wonderful avenues to propagate friendships, but, as I discovered, they can also be huge impediments to having healthy boundaries.
Technology has progressed much faster than our dating traditions. Dating traditions have been thrown out the window and it's left both the men and the women in the dating scene wondering what's going on.
During my (abundantly) numerous years as a single woman looking for a good man, I read many books on dating. They were either horrendously out of date, expected me to be a "Sex In the City"-modern-gal, or written for 13 year olds.
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Coming Events | |
There are always plenty of good events happening in and around Sydney.
If your parish, school or group is planning an event for families, couples, singles etc then let us know about it so we can share the news!
Here are some events that we know about...
Icons: Windows on Eternity. A free six-week course on the iconography of the Eastern Churches. Tuesdays 12 October-16 November 2010.
Retreat with the Dominican Sisters of St Cecilia. This retreat is for single Catholic women aged 18-35 and will take place on 22-24 October. Click here for further information.
Post Abortion Healing Retreat, run by Rachel's Vineyard. 19-21 November. Spiritual and psycholigical healing for women and men suffering the effects of a past abortion experience.
Retreats are essential for those who wish to make real progress in the spiritual life and in learning to love. They are opportunities to step back and listen to what God is saying. The Carmelite Friars at Varoville have 28 different retreats on offer in 2010. See which might be calling you.
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