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In This Issue
A New Feminism
Interchurch Marriages
The Pill 50 Years Later
Stopping the Objectification of Women and Girls
When Should Kids Date?
Are You A Little Bit Married?
Our Shrinking Population
The Addictive Power of Pornography
Orphaned at Conception
NFP vs Contraception
Don't Waste Your Single Life
Would Euthanasia Damage Doctors?
Do I Need an Annulment?
The Art of Patience and Perseverance
Coming Events
Upcoming LMF Centre Events in 2010 
(All welcome)
 Tuesday 20 July
 
Marriage and Family Sunday
 Sunday 25 July
 
Love and Life
@ Polding Centre
Thursday 12 August
 
Mass for Pregnant Women
Sunday 15 August
 
Love and Life
@ Polding Centre
Thursday 26 August
  
Father's Day Breakfast
Saturday 4 September
 
Love and Life
@ Polding Centre
Thursday 9 September
 
Respect Life Sunday
Sunday 3 October 
 
Couples Prayer Night 
Thursday 28 October
 
Retreat Day for
 Divorced Women
 Saturday 6 November
 
 Tuesday 9 November
 
LMF Centre Publications 
 
Marriage & Family Sunday 2009
mfs2009
  
Respect Life Sunday 2009
rls2009
 
Marriage & Family Sunday 2008
mfs2008
 
Respect Life Sunday 2008
rls2008
 
Marriage & Family Sunday 2007
mfs2007
 
Respect Life Sunday 2007
rls2007
 
Marriage & Family Sunday 2006
mfs2006
 
Respect Life Sunday 2006
rls2006
 
Respect Life Sunday 2005
rls2005
 
Respect LIfe Sunday 2004
rls2004
 
LMF Centre
Podcasts
 
 Marriage vs Cohabitation
 Chris Meney
 
Is Life Always Worth Living
Dr Brigid McKenna
 
LMF Centre
 Videos
 
SideBarVideo_Cohab 
 
SideBarVideo_Sexualisation 
 
sidebarvideo_womenpriests 
 Women Priests: Why Not?Bernard Toutounji
 
 
sidebarvideo_largefamilies 
Mary Joseph
 
Recommended Websites 
 
 
 
 
Australian Catholic Bishops Conference
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
LMF NewstopJune 2010
Dear friends,
 
Welcome to the winter edition of LMF News and welcome to any new subscribers! The cold has certainly arrived (in Sydney anyway) so hopefully this edition will take your mind off that.
 
This month there is an interesting article on interchurch marriages and the opportunities they present, there is also an article entitled 'Are you a little bit married', looking at those who desire marriage but end up sliding into a non satisfying cohabitation.  Also recommended are the videos 'NFP vs contraception' which were put together by a group of seminarians.
 
There are some new features in the left side bar. All our pulications for 'Marriage and Family Sunday' and 'Respect Life Sunday' since 2004 are now in the dark blue side bar. Below that are the links to all our recently created podcasts and videos. And below that is a growing number of recommended websites.
 
Each article now has a 'forward to a friend' link so you can easily send something of interest to someone else, and as we've said before, we really like new subscribers!
 
Have a wonderful month and if you have any feedback or suggestions for articles feel free to email us at lmfnews@sydneycatholic.org.
 
God Bless you and your family.    
 
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team

A New Feminism

Complementarity vs Domination
 

The New Feminism is a predominantly Catholic philosophy which emphasises belief in an integral complementarity of men and women, rather than the superiority of men over women or women over men.  The new feminism rejects the temptation of imitating models of 'male domination' in order to acknowledge and affirm the true genius of women in every aspect of the life of society and overcome all discrimination, violence and exploitation.  

 

The ideas are very much contained in the apostolic letter of Pope John Paul II entitled Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women). In this letter, John Paul II called on women to value their "feminine genius" as mothers and caregivers as well as their participation in politics and economics. He describes the 'feminine genius' as including empathy, interpersonal relations, emotive capacity, subjectivity, communication, intuition and personalisation.

 

Helen Alvare, a professor of law and a Catholic mother, is a strong proponent of the new feminism. In this video she discusses her understanding of this important concept...

 

Video_Alvare

 

 

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Interchurch Marriages

Helping them Suceed
 

Elizabeth Bookser Barkley - Many Catholics married to persons of other Christian denominations feel left out of parish activities because they don't interfaith marriagefit the profile of the "normal" Catholic marriage. (There is a need to) remind the whole Catholic community of the vital role interchurch couples can play in the working toward full unity of those whose common bond is Jesus Christ. That these marriages succeed is the concern of us all.

 

For Catholics about to set out on the journey of marriage with a person of another Christian denomination, the path ahead may seem fraught with perils: dispensations to be obtained, in-laws to placate, serious faith matters to ponder, such as the religious education of children.

 

But couples who have lived creatively and faithfully in such a marriage counsel that what may look like obstacles can actually lead to real growth in this exciting journey of love together.

 

Read the complete article here.

 
 
 

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The Pill 50 Years Later

 

Barbara Kay - When Mother's Day was invented just over 100 years ago, early and multiple motherhood was the near-universal destiny of most women. That all changed 50 years ago with the invention of "the Pill," as oral birth control soon became known.

The pill 

In 1961, 400,000 women used it. Today 100 million women pop that little magic pellet into their mouths to start their day, confident they won't get pregnant no matter where their fancy leads them.

 

Contraception didn't begin with the Pill. But real sexual freedom did. Pre-Pill contraception was messy, risky, cumbersome and anti-romantic. By automating and distancing safe readiness for spontaneous sex from the act itself, women felt truly liberated from nature's implacable laws.

 

Everyone agrees that the Pill coincided with, and arguably caused, the greatest paradigm shift in relations between the sexes in all of human history. Societies in which the Pill is freely available are so different from pre-Pill days in so many ways that we have hardly even begun to take the honest cultural measure of what has been gained and what has been lost in the transition.

 

Read the complete article here.

 
 
 

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Doing Something to Protect Women and Children

Stopping the Objectification of Women and Girls
 

Collective Shout is a new grassroots campaigns movement mobilising and equipping individuals and groups to target corporations, advertisers, marketers and media which objectify women and sexualise girls to sell products and services.

collective shout 

Collective Shout exposes corporations, advertisers, marketers and media engaging in practices which are offensive and harmful especially to women and girls, but also to men and boys.

Collective Shout is for anyone concerned about the increasing pornification of culture and the way its messages have become entrenched in mainstream society, presenting distorted and dishonest ideas about women and girls, sexuality and relationships.

Join the CollectiveShout.com online community for a world free of sexploitation! 
 
 
 

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When Should Kids Date?

Considerations for every parent
 
Dr Ray Guarendi - As a family psychologist, I am often asked by parents when their children should begin dating. They usually hasten to inform me, "All his (her) friends are dating." My quick answer is: When they're married, and only with their spouse.

Seriously, dating age depends upon all kinds of factors, and varies from child to child, even within the same family. But here are some general guidelines from my experience:

1. Most kids are dating way too early.

student couple2. Never consider your neighbourhood's "average age" when making your decision.

3. Start slow and supervised.

4. When in doubt, hold off.

5. Nothing at all is to be gained from premature, opposite-sex involvement through dating, or for that matter, through the phone, dances, parties, or games kids love.

This said, it is a simple truth of life that if you act differently from the way the majority does, you will be misunderstood by most.

 
 
 

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Are You A Little Bit Married?

Should you be tying the knot or going your own way?
 
Dr Christine B Whelan - Matt, 29, and his girlfriend, Kelly, 28, have been dating for four years and living together for two. They were both raised Catholic, attend Church occasionally, and joke about "living in sin" and being "semi-married." Kelly told me she was OK moving in with Matt because she just assumed that this was a step in the right direction - toward real marriage. But in the last few months, each time she's couple in bedbrought up the future in some oblique way, Matt has dodged the issue. "I talk to his parents all the time. We spend most holidays together," she said. "But I'm just not sure where this is going right now, and I'm beginning to get worried."
 
Sound familiar?
 
Back in the day, love led to marriage. Now, for too many couples, sex evolves into love, which leads to about a decade of being "a little bit married" - the long-term, exclusive relationships that we've created as a waypoint on the road to adulthood. In a well-researched and cleverly written pop-sociology self-help book, A Little Bit Married, author and journalist Hannah Seligson explains this new demographic trend.
 
The vast majority of young adults want to get married - and that's certainly true of young-adult Catholics. But as we navigate our twenties and early thirties, building careers and searching for soul mates, we delay that goal - yet still want to experience intimate relationships. We think of these long-term relationships as "internships" for marriage: You want to test it out, have some of the fun without all the commitment and see if it's right for you. Maybe you've been dating for two years and have decided to adopt a puppy - with no official plans for the future. Or maybe the two of you are planning a housewarming party for your new apartment - with no ring exchange in sight. 

Our Shrinking Population

 

Nicholas Eberstadt - Be careful what you wish for. After decades of struggling to contain the global population explosion that emerged from the healthcare revolution of the 20th century, the world confronts an unfamiliar crisis: rapidly decreasing birthrates and declining life spans that might set back the progress of human development.

world 

It may not be the first way we think of ourselves, but almost all of us alive today happen to be children of the "world population explosion" - the momentous demographic surge that overtook the planet during the course of the 20th century. Thanks to sweeping mortality declines, human numbers nearly quadrupled in just 100 years, leaping from about 1.6 or 1.7 billion in 1900 to about 6 billion in 2000.

 

This unprecedented demographic expansion came to be regarded as a "population problem," and in our modern era problems demand solutions. By century's end, a worldwide administrative apparatus - comprised of Western foundations and aid agencies, multilateral institutions, and Third World "population" ministries - had been erected for the express purpose of "stabilizing" world population and was vigorously pursuing an international antinatal policy, focusing on low-income areas where fertility levels remained relatively high.

 

Read the complete article here

 
 

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The Addictive Power of Pornography

 
Art and Laraine Bennett - Pornography or cybersex (pursuing sexual gratification via the internet) addiction has been called the "crack cocaine of sexual addiction" (Carnes, 2001).

It progresses much more rapidly than any other chemical or behavioral addiction-the individual can become addicted in only a matter of weeks or months. This is partly because the Internet has an extraordinary capacity to introduce a trance-like state. Hours may pass while the individual is completely preoccupied with chatting online or gazing at pornographic sex keyboardimages on the computer screen. This trance-like state is the first key element in the addiction cycle, as described by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., in his groundbreaking work, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. With each repetition, the noose tightens. Another key element in the addictive cycle is the immediate gratification or pleasure that results from the sexual behaviors often associated with the viewing of pornographic materials (usually masturbation).

Viewing pornography is usually accompanied by self-gratification and triggers arousal, satiation and an increase in fantasy, which induce powerful neurochemical responses in the brain similar to those induced by addictive drugs and alcohol. When these neurochemical changes happen repeatedly, the responses to sexual behaviors become habituated, and these behaviors are now "hard-wired" in the brain.

Although there are moments of intense pleasure (releasing soothing and pleasurable hormones that are natural opioids), this pleasure has become a compulsion, and so is often followed by severe mood shifts to despair, or a sense of powerlessness to change, self-pity, degradation, and shame. The sense of isolation and hopelessness can be so severe that there is only one thing that can help the user feel better....and the cycle begins again.

 
 
 

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Orphaned at Conception

21st Century Child Abuse?
 

Michael Cook - A 51-year-old Michigan man may have fathered as many as 400 children by donating sperm to an IVF clinic between 1980 and 1994. At the time Kirk Maxey saw this as a way to pay his way through medical school and to help infertile women. "You would get a personal phone call from a nurse saying, 'The situation is urgent! We have a woman ovulating this morning. Can you be here in a half hour?'," he told Newsweek last year.

Today Mr Maxey deeply regrets his experience, but little has changed since then. More and more babies are being born through sperm test tubedonation. In the US, it could be as many as 30,000 and 60,000 children each year. No one really knows. Neither the IVF clinics nor US government departments are required to report these vital statistics.

The United States alone has a fertility industry that brings in US $3.3 billion annually. "Fertility tourism" has taken off as a booming global trade. Some nations, like Cyprus, the Ukraine or India, bill themselves as destinations for couples who wish to circumvent stricter laws and greater expense in their own countries in order to become pregnant with reproductive technologies. The largest sperm bank in the world, Cryos, is in Denmark and ships three-quarters of its sperm overseas.

This disconnect between procreation and fatherhood is unprecedented in human history. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people have entered the world as genetic orphans. How do they feel about it? 

 

Read the complete article here.

 

 

 

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NFP vs Contraception

Some Clever Videos
 

In 2007 a group of seminarians recorded these seven amusing but informative 1-minute videos looking at the common misconceptions (excuse the pun) between NFP and contraceptives. 

Video NFP

If you think the video above is good you will find the other six short videos on our YouTube Channel
 
 
 

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Don't Waste Your Single Life

Every Day is Preparation for the Future
 

Stephanie Weinert - It's a fact of life and part of human nature to yearn for what we don't have...to believe that what someone else has is better than what's been given to us...to trust that if we get what we're pining for we'd be so much happier. Perhaps this phenomenon goes all the way back to our first parents.

I often find it enchanting to witness a small child longing for what he or TV manshe doesn't have. Perhaps it's a new toy or game on their Christmas list. [As "Aunt Steph" to ten adorable nieces and nephews, I can personally attest to being a sucker for this. I already know that I'll be a hopeless case if someday children of my own look up at me with wide wishful eyes and ask for a new Transformer or Webkinz stuffed animal for Christmas!]

An example of yearning for what one doesn't have that is not nearly as attractive is a single person who is not content with his or her current state in life, but instead pines for the married life as the antidote to the unhappiness or loneliness of the heart. Perhaps you've witnessed this hunger and discontent in someone in your parish or singles' group; perhaps in a close friend you've known for years; or perhaps you've seen it in the mirror, as I know I have.

Of course, desiring the vocation of marriage is a wonderful thing for a single person to pray about, dream about, and wish for. The danger comes when one puts all of his thoughts, efforts, hopes and dreams into waiting for some future happiness to come into his life, instead of living each day to the fullest right now.

 
 
 

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Would Euthanasia Damage Doctors?

The Consequences for Healthcare
 

Margaret Somerville - Last week, the Quebec College of Physicians and Surgeons tentatively approved euthanasia. That means it's essential that we look, specifically, at the impact that euthanasia would have on physicians and the profession of medicine, in order to understand why euthansia this approval is a very bad idea.

In mainstream media, and therefore in the general public forum, the euthanasia debate has been focused, almost entirely, on the impact that legalising euthanasia (a term I use in this article to include physician-assisted suicide) would have at the individual level. But we must also consider the impact legalising it would have at institutional, governmental and societal levels. We need to explore not only the practical realities, such as the possibilities for abuse, that allowing euthanasia would open up, but also, the effect that doing so would have on important values and symbols that make up the intangible fabric that constitutes our society.

For example, what would be its likely impact on major societal institutions, such as medicine and law, which help to establish those values and carry the message of the need to respect them?

Read the complete article here.

   
 
 

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Do I Need an Annulment?

Common Questions about Marriage and Annulments
 

Jacqueline Rapp and Pete Vere - As a Judge and a Defender of the Bond within our respective dioceses' Catholic Marriage Tribunal, we encounter misunderstandings every day about the declaration of nullity (or annulment) process. Often, the people who come into our offices question the need for an annulment before approaching a new marriage. Their misunderstandings commonly arise from misconception as to what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage, and consequently, why the Catholic Church judges some relationships not to be marriages.  

 
What is a Christian marriage according to the Catholic Church?
 
marriage paintingWhen does a marriage come into being?
 
What is an annulment? 
 
Why is an annulment necessary? 
 
Why do I need an annulment if I'm not Catholic?
 
 
 
 

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The Art of Patience and Perseverance

 
How do you respond when "bad things" happen to you? When you experience disappointment or setbacks? When you are hurt by something someone said? 
 
Edward Sri - When experiencing sorrow, we might be tempted to close in perseveranceon ourselves. We might allow negative emotions to gnaw at us. We might fail to be attentive to others' needs because we are so preoccupied with our troubles. We might also become sluggish in our responsibilities, not giving the best of ourselves at work and with our family.

Some people simply are not pleasant to be around when they experience sorrow. They become gloomy and grumpy, and might even let their frustrations out on others.

Human beings cannot escape suffering in this world. However, the way we face life's sorrows is a question of moral character. Do we allow sorrow to dominate our existence? Or do we bear our sorrow in a praise worthy manner, not allowing it to control us? Patience is the particular virtue we need to help us to bear sadness in such a way that we do not abandon the good course for our lives.

 
 
 

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Coming Events

 
coming soon
 
There are always plenty of good events happening in and around Sydney.
 
If your parish, school or group is planning an event for families, couples, singles etc then let us know about it so we can share the news!
 
Here are some events that we know about...
 
 
SCENE (Sydney Congress Embracing the New Evangelisation) is a massive congress being held in Sydney, 12-16 July 2010.  SCENE is about presenting the faith to the city in a new and dynamic way. Register Now!
 
Mt Schoenstatt Calendar of Events.  
All are welcome at this place of pilgrimage and grace. See the calendar here.
 
Retreats are essential for those who wish to make real progress in the spiritual life and in learning to love. They are opportunities to step back and listen to what God is saying. The Carmelite Friars at Varoville have 28 different retreats on offer in 2010. See which might be calling you
 
Retreats with the Dominican Sisters of St Cecilia. These retreat are for single Catholic women ages 18-35 and will be held in May, August and October. Click here for further information
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre is an agency of the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney and has been established to extend the research, policy, educational and pastoral activities the Church undertakes with respect to life, marriage and family issues.  Our website is lifemarriagefamily.org.au.
 
Thank you for taking time to read our newsletter, we hope it has been of interest. We welcome your comments and feedback at lmfnews@sydneycatholic.org. We hope we will be able to serve you in some capacity in 2010.
 
Yours in Christ,
 
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team