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To Be Advised
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O Come
Emmanuel
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Dear friends,
Greeting from us at the Life, Marriage and Family Centre and welcome to our final LMF News for 2009! This marks one year of e-newsletters so we are very excited about that.
We must also apologise as there was no newsletter in November. A few of our cluey subscribers emailed in to ask what went wrong (it's good to know people are enthusiastically waiting by their inbox at the start of each month). Unfortunately those first couple of weeks of November were so busy for us that by the time we had a chance to get it together the month had gone! But rest easy here is another packed edition for your perusal!
You will see the article quick links to your left or simply scroll down and see what grabs your interest. You will find a good mix of articles on life, marriage and family issues in this edition.
And once again we would ask you to exercise the 'forward to a friend button' at the top left of the newsletter if you like what we are doing. It will be a Christmas gift to your friend and to us!
May we take this opportunity to thank those who have taken the time to email us with feedback and suggestions for articles, and finally to wish all of you and your families a blessed and holy Christmas. May the peace and joy which only the Christ child can bring be yours in abundance.
See you in 2010!
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team |
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Making Advent Real in Your Family |
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Preparing For The Birth of Jesus
Advent is one of those times of the year when the whole family can really live out the faith in the home. From  Advent Wreaths to Christmas Cribs to Christmas Trees, it is a season in which parents and children can bring the liturgical season alive.
For children to 'catch' the faith and eventually become men and women of faith they need to take ownership of that faith. And of course moving as one family towards the celebration of Christmas brings everyone that little bit closer.
The Advent Worshop is a website on which you can learn about the history and traditions of advent including the Jesse tree and how to make one. There are also links to activities, customs, prayers and hymns.
You and the family might also like to send Christmas greetings to Pope Benedict XVI and you can do that here.
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Is Celibacy a Life of Repression? |
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Christopher West - Recently, a former Catholic priest appeared on Oprah to defend his choice of leaving the Church in order to get married. This priest had battled with desire for this woman for several years and finally decided his only options were to marry her or repress his sexual desires. Indeed, as he announced to a national audience, "repression" is the only choice for a person who remains celibate.  Is this true? Are our only options when it comes to sexual desire to "indulge" it or "repress" it? Granted, to a world bound by sexual lust, life-long celibacy seems absurd. The world's general attitude towards Christian celibacy might be summarised like this: "Hey, marriage is the only 'legitimate' chance you Christians get to indulge your lusts. Why the heck would you ever want to give that up? You'd be condemning yourself to a life of hopeless repression." The difference between marriage and celibacy, however, must never be understood as the difference between having a "legitimate" outlet for sexual lust on the one hand and having to repress it on the other. Christ calls everyone - no matter his or her particular vocation - to experience redemption from the domination of lust. Only from this perspective do the Christian vocations (celibacy and marriage) make any sense. Both vocations - if they are to be lived as Christ intends - flow from the same experience of the redemption of sexuality. Read the complete article here
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Mum + Dad = Winning Combination for Children |
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The Gold Standard for Family Life
It's much easier when there are two parents to look after the children. They get an enormous head-start when both their parents bring them up together effectively and affectionately.
About three-quarters of Australian children grow up with both their natural parents. Another eight per cent grow up  in step- or "blended" families, created when one of their parents re-partners with someone with their own children, or with whom they have more children.
The remaining eighteen per cent are brought up by one parent only, usually the mother.
I have immense respect for single parents who have to work so much harder with so little support to bring up their children. I feel for them, especially when they find themselves in this situation through no fault of their own.
Relationships do break down but this is not what most people are hoping for when they start a relationship, and particularly when they decide to have children. No one should be forced to stay in an abusive or violent relationship, which can also be disastrous for children.
But we need to pay more attention to the costs that marriage and family breakdown bring to everyone: children first of all, but also parents and the wider community.
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Where are all the Down Syndrome Children? |
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A New Endangered Species
Michael Cook - The dwarf wedgemussel, the Chittenango ovate amber snail, the Choctawhatchee beach mouse and the frosted flatwoods salamander are among 614 animal species listed as threatened or endangered by the US Fish and Wildlife Service. If Dr Brian Skotko, of Children's Hospital Boston, has his way, Down Syndrome children should be added to the list. In a recent issue of the journal Archives of Diseases in Childhood he points out that the number of DS  children born is declining year by year, at least in developed nations.
Current studies show that 92 percent of women who receive a definitive prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome (DS) choose to terminate their pregnancies. As a consequence DS children are vanishing. In Ireland, where abortion is not an option, the sight of a DS person on the street is far more common.
Because women are waiting longer before they have children and older women have a higher chance of having a DS child, the birth incidence should be climbing if DS children were not being disposed of. In fact, it has actually decreased. For instance, in the US, without prenatal testing, there should have been a 34 percent increase in DS births, largely because of older mothers. Instead, there has been a 15 percent decrease or a 49 percent gap. In the UK, there is a 48 percent gap. No doubt the statistics are similar in Australia.
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Daily Prayer via MP3 |
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When once asked how to pray, Pope John Paul replied, "Pray any way you like, so long as you do pray". Prayer is necessary but it need not be daunting or difficuly. In essence prayer is communicating with God; it is opening our hearts to Him. Finding time for prayer though can be difficult. How many of us spend at least fifteen minutes a day sitting in a train, bus or car travelling to work or study? How many of us have an ipod?
Pray-as-you-go is a daily prayer session, designed for use on portable MP3 players. A new prayer session is produced every day and it follows the Church's liturgical calendar. It is not a 'Thought for the Day', a sermon or a bible-study, but rather a framework for your own prayer.
Lasting between ten and thirteen minutes, it combines music, scripture and some questions for reflection. Pray-as-you-go is produced by Jesuit Media Initiatives, with material written by a number of British Jesuits and other experts in the spirituality of St Ignatius of Loyola.
Although the content is different every day, it keeps to the same basic format.
- Bells - the call to prayer
- Opening music, with a few words of introduction
- Scripture for the day
- Questions for personal reflection
- Repeat of the scripture reading
- Final reflection
- Conclusion: Glory be to the Father...
Advent is the perfect time to get more serious with our prayer.
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Why Dress with Modesty? |
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Modesty of Dress and Love of God
Luiz Sergio Solimeo - "I love vulgarity. Good taste is death, vulgarity is life." These words by English fashion designer Mary Quant, who took credit for inventing the miniskirt and hot pants, reveal one of the most important, though rarely pointed out, aspects of the "fashion revolution" that started in the sixties: vulgarity.
Indeed, fashions have increasingly tended toward vulgarity. It is a vulgarity that tramples upon not only good taste and decorum but which reflects a mentality opposed to all order and discipline and to every kind of restraint, be it esthetic, moral or social, and which ultimately suggests a completely "liberated" standard of behavior.
1. Are Comfort and Practicality Supreme Criteria?
The rationale for introducing ever shorter skirts was "to be practical and liberating, allowing women the ability to run  for a bus." The notion that comfort, practicality and freedom of movement must be the only criteria for dress has led to a breakdown in the general standard of sobriety and elegance, not to speak of the norms of modesty. Thus, casual dress, being more comfortable and practical, increasingly becomes the norm regardless of people's sex, age and circumstances. Jeans and the T-shirt (formerly a piece of underwear) became part of common attire. Read the complete article here |
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Abortion Clinic Boss becomes Pro Life Advocate |
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Abby Johnson Interviewed on Fox News
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Bringing Christmas to Life Again |
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St Francis and the Christmas Crib
Fr Roger Landry - In 1223, St. Francis of Assisi inaugurated a pious practice that in places today has become so common that many think that it always existed. This great saint, as he was traversing the rolling hills of central Italy one December to proclaim the Gospel, noticed that few of his countrymen were taking the mysteries of the faith seriously. Many were not preparing for Christmas at all. Of those who were getting ready to celebrate the Lord's birth, they looked at it as an event tied exclusively to the past. The mysteries of the faith had become sterile. The central persons in the drama had become stale and lifeless, incapable even of stimulating his contemporaries' imaginations - and therefore no longer capable of inspiring  them to a greater relationship of mutual love with God in the present.
To counteract these tendencies, on Christmas Eve 1223 in the town of Greccio, Francis set up the first crèche in recorded history. He brought in live animals - an ox and an ass. There was a baby and a young set of parents. There was plenty of hay and a manger. There was even the attempt - with hundreds of burning torches - to create the luminescence of a bright star. And Francis could not have been happier with the results. People came from all over to see the living nativity. Through all the sounds, sights and even smells, the people became convinced that Christmas was not just a cute story, but a real event, one that was not just past, but one they were called to enter into the present. Read the complete story here
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USA Christian Leaders say no to abortion, same sex marriage |
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In a showing of Christian unity, 145 Protestant, Catholic and Orthodox Christian leaders in the USA have signed a declaration stating that they will not cooperate with laws that they say could be used to compel their institutions to participate in abortions, or to bless or in any way recognize same-sex couples. They cite the Reverend Dr Martin Luther King Jr's call to civil disobedience before disobedience to the laws of God. The manifesto, released in November in Washington, is an effort to rejuvenate the political alliance of conservative Catholics and evangelical Protestants that dominated the  religious debate during the administration of US President George Bush. The signers include nine Roman Catholic archbishops and the primate of the Orthodox Church in America. They want to signal to the Obama administration and to Congress that they are still a formidable force that will not compromise on abortion, stem-cell research or same-sex marriage. They hope to influence current debates over health care reform, the same-sex marriage bill in Washington DC, and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation. They say they also want to speak to younger Christians who have become engaged in issues like climate change and global poverty, and who are more accepting of homosexuality than their elders. They say they want to remind them that abortion, homosexuality and religious freedom are still paramount issues. The document was written by Charles Colson, a prominent evangelical; Robert P. George, a Catholic professor of jurisprudence at Princeton University; and the Rev. Timothy George, dean of an evangelical interdenominational school on the campus of Samford University, in Alabama. The 4,700-word document is called the "Manhattan Declaration: A Call of Christian Conscience." Read the Declaration here
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Ectopic Pregnancy |
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When A Pregnancy Encounters Problems
Fr Tadeusz Pacholczyk - Human pregnancy begins whenever a sperm unites with an egg inside the fallopian tube.
The newly-minted embryo must then travel along the fallopian tube during the next few days before finally implanting into the wall of the mother's uterus.
In rare instances, the embryo will fail to reach the uterus, and will instead implant in the fallopian tube along the way, which is a very narrow tube not designed to support  a pregnancy. Such "tubal pregnancies" are highly risky, because the wall of the tube can stretch only a limited amount before it will rupture from the increasing pressure of the growing fetus, possibly resulting in the death of both mother and child. (A 6 day old embryo implanting itself onto the womb)
Whenever an embryo implants in the wrong place, whether in the fallopian tube or in another place like the abdomen, such a pregnancy is calleId "ectopic" (meaning "out of place"). Ninety-seven percent of all ectopic pregnancies occur within the fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancy is one of the leading causes of maternal sickness and death in the United States, and presents a formidable challenge to the physician who is trying to help both mother and child.
Of the three commonly performed procedures for addressing ectopic pregnancies, two raise significant moral concerns while the third is morally acceptable.
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When Adults Refuse to Grow Up |
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Too Old To Mature
When is it too late to grow up? Our current National Post series examines the "hipster parents" who refuse to act their own age, and desire to be the cool contemporaries of their children rather than be boring ol' Mum or Dad. I can't say I have had much contact with such parents, as most of my time is spent at the university with those not yet married, or in my parish with those whose children are already grown.
Growing up means changing from a child whose world is driven by self-centredness into an adult who takes responsibility for others, even putting their interests  ahead of one's own. We idealize children because they are rather cute and we look forward to their development. Imagine how differently we would regard a fussy baby if we thought he would still be at it when he was fourteen. Babies and toddlers and little ones can be terribly selfish, driven by appetites and desires for attention, ready to wreak havoc when their precocious, ferocious wills are frustrated. They don't know any better of course, and their parents over many years attempt to teach them that to mature means to recognize that there are other people in the world toward whom one's will must be bent -- at first involuntarily, and later, if virtue takes root, voluntarily.
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Pornography and the Commitment Phobia |
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How The Two Are Linked
Everyone today has heard of the problem of "commitment phobia." That is, a situation where a couple goes out together for a long time until it seems that it would be logical to take the step of engagement and marriage; but one of the parties, usually the man, starts to claim that he isn't ready yet, or can't make a commitment. The woman, of course by now has made quite an investment already and can hear her "biological clock" ticking away. She would like to have children and the security of marriage, but he just gets cold feet-or a cold sweat-whenever the topic comes up.
The problem seems quite vexing but I think the reasons for it are quite clear: It is the logical outcome of living in a  pornographic culture-a culture of of so-called "free sex" which has created a great deal of isolation, until it is basically a culture of masturbation. I will never forget the pathetic scene created a few years ago by a group of Boston College feminists led by a condom dispensing male professor when they attempted to disrupt a lecture by Professor Janet Smith who was speaking on the evil of artificial contraception from the context of the beauty of human love.
When Professor Smith spoke about the spiritual riches to be mined in the life of a marriage from periodic abstinence within a program of Natural Family Planning, this tragic mob howled, as if from the pit of Dante's inferno, "What about mutual masturbation? What about mutual masturbation?" -as though they were being deprived of food and water. Nor shall I forget the desolate sadness and introspection on these women's faces when Professor Smith went on to speak of Pope John Paul's vision of the beauty of tender committed human love. They'd never heard it before. Up till then they'd been sold a bill of goods.
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The Insantity of Same-Sex Parenting |
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Every Child Needs the Love of a Father and a Mother
David van Gend - I was at Pizza Hut with my three primary-age sons just after an Australian children's program, Play School, aired its lesbian "two mothers" episode. My youngest son asked very seriously, "Daddy, can two boys marry?" and the middle son stepped in, "No, but two girls can marry. They were talking about it at school". I do not like strangers messing with the minds of  my children. I object to anybody inserting disturbing notions into their sanely happy understanding of marriage and family.
Yet the disturbance is becoming all-pervasive, with an Australian Senate enquiry into the Greens-sponsored Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009, and the launch this week of a national television campaign for gay marriage. From the commanding heights of culture come strange decrees that two women, or two men, are just as good as a mother and father when it comes to raising a child. Who are these surreal city-dwellers, so out of touch with nature?
In the northern state of Queensland it was Premier Anna Bligh who announced last month that two men will be allowed to get a baby of their own by surrogacy. In Western Australia two homosexual men have already been given a child by adoption. In the southern state of Victoria two women are allowed to obtain a child using a stranger's sperm, and be named as that child's "two parents" on the birth certificate.
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Why Not Take Her For a 'Test Drive'? |
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Trialing Marriage
Jennifer R Morse - Research shows that cohabitation is correlated with unhappiness and domestic violence. Cohabiting couples report lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship than married couples. Women are more likely to be abused by a cohabiting boyfriend than a husband. Children are more likely to abused by their mothers' boyfriends than by her husband, even if the boyfriend is their biological father. If a cohabiting couple  ultimately marries, they have a higher propensity to divorce.
Most of the recent reports and commentaries on cohabitation report these difficulties, and at the same time, tend to downplay them. Living together before marriage seems to resemble taking a car for a test drive. The "trial period" gives people a chance to discover whether they are compatible. "You wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive, now would you?"
Here's the problem with the car analogy: the car doesn't have hurt feelings if the driver dumps it back at the used car lot and decides not to buy it. The analogy works great if you picture yourself as the driver. It stinks if you picture yourself as the car. Read the complete article
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The Life, Marriage and Family Centre is an agency of the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney and has been established to extend the research, policy, educational and pastoral activities the Church undertakes with respect to life, marriage and family issues. Our website is lifemarriagefamily.org.au.
Thank you for taking time to read our newsletter, we hope it has been of interest. We welcome your comments and feedback at lmfnews@sydneycatholic.org. We hope we will be able to serve you in some capacity in 2009.
Yours in Christ,
The Life, Marriage and Family Centre Team
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