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2009 february
considerations
A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
 Candi Hair Up CloseUpGreetings!

Ahhh, the teasing promise of spring is in the air -- well, at least for those of us in warmer climates.  Around here, in Midtown Atlanta, I've begun to see shorts and flip flops as residents are increasing their presence in parks and restaurants' outdoor seating.  Personally I am taking advantage of these higher temperatures by enjoying the fresh air blowing through my open windows and working in the park near my home.
 
February's "considerations" asks us how we love ourselves and offers meditation as a coping tool for days like these.  There is also information regarding cd llc's upcoming events -- pre-orders for my debut book, Bootlicked to Balanced:  Healing the Mind, Freeing the Spirit.  Also, I'm looking forward to conducting my first webinar (FREE) in the coming weeks, FOCUS . . . PLAN . . . REACH: Moving Beyond Today's Economic Climate. 
 
Remember that your thoughts are always welcome on my online journal (blog).  Also, if you would like to see a thought, idea, or question explored in a future edition of "considerations," let me know.
 
Feel free to share this newsletter with others by forwarding it to them.
 
As always, thank you for your continued support of candi dugas, llc!
 
best,
candi
 

days like these
call for peace of mind
 
In times of crises why do some people fall apart at the seams and others remain intact? 
 
I suspect the answer lies in the regular practice of self-care disciplines - such as meditation.  Consider the excerpts below, from my debut book, Bootlicked to Balanced:  Healing the Mind, Freeing the Spirit[Pre-orders begin in latter February 2009.]
 
"Meditation is more of a time to receive and be, rather than quiet moments to create a 'to do' list.  We can gain deeper understanding of who we think we are, who God created us to be, and any differences between those realities.  It is a time to reconcile the truths of our lives with the lives we can have.  It is a time to connect with an inner power that we sometimes forget exists.
 
. . .
 
In meditation all we want to do is to pay attention to the moment at hand in a particular way without drawing any particular conclusion.  If a question comes to mind, do not try to answer it or seek God's answer to it.  For the moment, simply have a question.  Be sure to journal it, because the answer will come.  When focusing attention on the meditative moment without the weight of conclusions, we cultivate the ability to experience more of life's moments on a daily basis.
 
. . .
 
[O]ur definition of meditation is 'a time to think deeply . . .'  We will come to experience, as we purposely set aside time to meditate, that our time of meditation will extend beyond that specific time apart to be still.  Then transformation - or reclamation - takes place."
 
Keep your eyes and ears open for how to order your copy of Bootlicked to Balanced:  Healing the Mind, Freeing the Spirit.
 
Join me in developing and practicing a discipline that will produce fruitful benefits for ourselves and our loved ones way beyond today and its challenges.
 
Ashe.  (Amen.)
 
copyright 2009 candi dugas, llc

how do we love ourselves?
self-love, an ultimate gift for valentine's day 
 
How do we love ourselves? 
 
This is the month that florists, chocolate makers, and plush animal manufacturers relish all year long - jacking up prices to take advantage of the public's inability to share love every day of the year.  If you regularly and effectively communicate your appreciation and affection for the significant people in your life 364 days of the year, how inclined are you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on flowers, candy, stuffed animals, hotels, extravagant dinners, last-minute cards, and the like?  February 14th would be just another day - as it is in reality.
 
Valentine's Day - what is that, really?  It has at least prompted me to ask the question:
 
How do we love ourselves?
 
If I conduct a random survey right now, posing the question, "Do you love yourself," I expect a huge majority would answer emphatically, "Absolutely!"  I suspect such a strong answer would stem more from pride than sincerity.  Few persons would admit readily that they do not love the one with whom their entire lives are spent.
 
How do I know?  I see it - and you do too - all around us each and every day.  We deny that which fulfills us for a myriad of reasons.  We overeat.  We do not exercise.  We do not get enough sleep.  We work too many hours.  We spend very little time, comparatively, with family and friends.  We do not just sit and be.  We allow homelessness, hunger, and deficient education to exist in our society.  (My personal trainer once told me he couldn't understand how people can be so in love with other people's bodies and mistreat their own so.)  No, the vast majority of our population does not embody self-love.
 
What else do we do?  
 
We wrap ourselves into a false sense of expectation to achieve perfection.  Again, if I were to take a survey, answers would deny any real aspiration to perfection.  Yet our behavior belies such answers. 
 
How do I know?  I constantly hear -and you do too -others consistently express regret, guilt, and shame for past actions.  These expressions are indeed exercises in futility.  The truth is that we did the best we could at the time - even within conscious decisions not to choose the honest or ethical alternatives.  I contend that at that very moment, we made the best decision we could.  Capability is rooted in willingness.  At the end of the day, it does not make any difference that I can do something, if I am not willing to do it.
 
Regret . . . Guilt . . . Shame - don't do it.  Hosting these feelings within ourselves only creates and perpetuates un-health and dis-ease.  For past actions and thoughts, mostly, there is nothing we can do.  Sometimes we have opportunities to apologize or rectify situations.  Oftentimes, though, we do not.  And then we allow our inability to effect justice to become another source of regret and guilt and shame.  This thinking can become an endlessly dangerous cycle.  Where do we end up in the midst of all this kind of thinking?  Unloved.

 
So will you resolve today:
 
No woulda's.
No coulda's.
No shoulda's.
 
No regrets.  No guilt.  No shame.
 
Instead - only true appreciation for all of our experiences, as one of my dearest friends often reminds me.
 
How about this?  My counselor recently told me that human beings are incapable of unconditional love.  Really?  Then why do we strive to love others unconditionally - with an actual expectation that we will one day achieve it?  Well, if we as humans are indeed incapable of unconditional love, then that is a very good reason to have an intimate relationship with God.  For if we are incapable of it, one thing is certain - we all need unconditional love.  God is the absolute infinite source of unconditional love.
 
What about forgiving others?  Generosity of spirit?
 
We absolutely still need to participate in these actions that build strong relationships with others.  We absolutely still need to honor each other's feelings and needs.  We absolutely still need to re-present God to each other within our humanity.  Yet the authentic ability to forgive and give generously springs from a well full of self-love, with an understanding and acceptance of our human limitations.  Without self-love we constantly feel robbed instead of generous; and often we cannot explain why.
 
This year, give the best gift you can to those you love - give them the presence of your whole, authentic self in their lives.  Give them a spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy being.  The price?  It might be more expensive - depending on the currency you are considering - yet the return for both of you will be priceless.  It'll last longer than roses and taste sweeter than chocolate-covered cherries!
 
En-joy!
 
Texts for (re) consideration - 1 Corinthians 13; Matthew 5:38-48 (The Message).
 
copyright 2009 candi dugas, llc
cd llc upcoming events
  • Pre-orders for Candi's debut book -- Bootlicked to Balanced:  Healing the Mind, Freeing the Spirit
  • FREE Webinar -- FOCUS . . . PLAN . . . REACH:  Moving Beyond Today's Economic Climate
    • FOCUS your strengths toward success
      • connect the "dots" that create a pathway toward implementing your vision and mission
    • PLAN with a strategic approach
      • think strategically about your business; design tactics that maximize efforts and make proactive decisions
    • REACH farther with your marketing efforts
      • increase and maintain your presence within your target audiences
    • FEATURING
      • Candi Dugas -- executive coach to leaders seeking innovation and change in their organizations
      • Rick Meekins -- principal business strategist
      • Kimberlee Scott -- lead smb strategic marketer
limited seats -- REGISTER NOW
contacts
candi dugas
owner/president
candi dugas, llc
 
770.833.8734
 
gratitude
again, thank you, for your continued support of candi dugas, llc.
 
share your thoughts.  email your ideas.  anticipate the next edition.
 
wisdom . . . knowledge . . . understanding
for the world's well being. (sm)