You are awesome! When was the last time time you told yourself how great you are? 

 

Richard Simmons, fitness guru, was interviewed in a documentary about morbidly obese people. Asked the keys to successful weight loss he stated the usual eat less and move more but he also gave equal importance to one more key. "When you stop complimenting yourself, it's all over," remarked Richard with a solemn look on his face.

 

I've been thinking about Richard's comment ever since and how I do and don't compliment myself. I also started thinking about New Year's and resolutions. Where do the resolutions come from? How are they formed? For me, resolutions often don't come from compliments but from a focus on my flaws and shortcomings. I can just see Richard shaking his head at me right now.

 

Think about it. What are the most common resolutions and how are they arrived at? Topping the list are improving health, financial fitness and then personal happiness with more fun and time with family according to a recent survey. Many people who set goals this time of year spend the last few days of the ending year thinking about what they didn't accomplish, what is missing in their current relationships(or what relationships are absent) and how physical flaws really do need to be addressed this year once and for all.

 

These resolution - goals we create for ourselves - are supposed to help us move forward and accomplish the things we want to experience - push ourselves and be the proverbial best we can be - but we rarely follow through on them. Why? Probably because we are not complimenting ourselves. When I do a personal review, I can clearly see that my goals based on compliments - where I used a goal to cheer myself on -are more successful than those based on criticism - pointing a finger in the face of my flaw.

 

Before hearing Richard Simmons' comment I had sworn off making any resolutions this year because they just make me feel bad about myself. Then after listening to this fitness guru and replaying his comment in my head a few hundred times I began thinking that maybe my process of creating a resolution is what keeps it from working. So, I decided to begin by thinking about what makes me happy and what I want to more of in my life. Then I thought about what makes me unhappy and what I want less of. 

 

By complimenting myself first, I arrived - without struggle and bat-upside-the-head criticism - at a goal to spend more time writing and "playing" with clients. Instead of being about setting a goal to get more done or fix a flaw, I set a goal to spend more time doing what I love and arrived at the decision to get some office help.

 

After setting this goal from a place of complimenting myself, an amazing thing occurred - the person to help me just showed up! For the past two years I have been asking around about help and have tried a few times but haven't found the right fit. When I started from a place of compliment, it all just fell into place.

 

Whatever you would like to change, add or delete for yourself start with a boat load of compliments for all that you have done and all that you are. You can begin with complimenting yourself for reading this newsletter and other things you do to increase your positivity. Then, take a quick inventory of all you are good at and ponder - meander in your mind - all the things you love to do.

 

Maybe you will find that you want to do more of what you have been doing, maybe you just want to bask in the glow of your greatness, or maybe you will discover a longing that you keep pushing aside. Whatever you come up, keep complimenting yourself. Richard says it's the compliments that keep the hope and positive action going. If you turn your focus toward building on the "good" and away from admonishment of what isn't enough, I'll bet it will all fall into place for you, too. 

 

What if times are hard and relationships aren't going well and there doesn't seem to be anything to compliment? First, I hear you and know that sometimes this simple act can feel impossible. Do it anyway. Look for something, anything, and appreciate yourself. Compliment yourself for even thinking about complimenting yourself. Imagine you are talking to a child and offering them hope - tell them something good about you. It is simple, not always easy, but always worth any effort it takes. 

 

I think you rock! Your fan,