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November 2010
The Journeyer
Mary's Hope Workshops Newsletter
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Hopes and dreams, truth telling, and lots of hard work...all necessary ingredients for spiritual healing from profound childhood abuse and trauma. A little bit of each of these in this issue....
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Carry Me
Can you carry me back to the day...
Back to the me who used to be,
Way before the me you see today?
Carry me...
Back to the times of
Childhood innocence and ignorance,
To the days of
Happiness and smilin'...
Back before the
Secret sins and violence...
Before I ever felt
Brokenness and pain within.
Tell my friends I'll be back someday
I'm leaving on a cloud
Going to a place
Far way...
So carry me...
Back to my world
Before my world
Turned gray...
Carry me...
To a time before
The dreams of flight
That make me feel ten feel tall...
Before the nightmares and flashbacks
That haunt me as night falls...
Carry Me...
To my favorite place
In that other space
Filled with the
Innocence and abundant grace...
That was all so swiftly stolen away.
Can you take me off,
Can you sweep me away,
Can you carry me
Back to that place?
by Adam Gonzales, Survivor
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As I See It: A Survivor Looks Back on her Abuse
It was evil.
Long have I scoffed at that term--nah, it wasn't so bad. He always asked. He never hurt me.
But I delude myself. It was evil, pure and simple. It was 'not what God would have happen to me'. It was the taking of a gift from God and using it for one's benefit at the expense of another. It was the desecration of a holy, innocent child. It was the desecration of an act of love--it turned it into an act of selfishness, an act of disregard for my being-ness, an act of pillage. It robbed me of my brother, of my joy around my budding sexuality. It robbed me of my sense of oneness with God--it became for me something to hide from God--it introduced shame into my relationship with the Holy. It created for me the label 'slut', although I don't know if that was ever said outside my head. It introduced me to sensations and feelings that I was not ready for...and consequently those senses and feelings carried with them that sense of fear, shame, defilement throughout my teenage years. I became trapped in a cycle of lust and fear that made me turn even more inward and avoid the joys (and, it must be admitted, the pain) of adolescent dating.
And it instilled in me a deep feeling of shame and unworthiness that has caused me to live very small, not expect to be treated fairly, and to relentlessly pursue perfection in the hope of someday attaining an 'acceptable' rating. But I've become my own impossible-to-satisfy critic, and it's a tough hamster wheel to climb out of.
But naming the rock that I carry around is the first step. Evil won't have me forever.
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Here's Where the Hard Work Comes In!
from the journal drawings of a survivor....
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And get a tax deduction?
It's as easy as this!
Click here to donate to Mary's Hope
via our secure
Giving First portal.
or send a check payable to Mary's Hope to:
8174 S. Holly St. #463
Centennial, CO 80122
Thank you!
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Upcoming Events
Stay tuned!
We're working on our
2011 calendar of events.
We can hardly wait to share it with you!
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Something That Might be of Interest to You
Woman's Story Annual Retreat
presents:
Forgiveness: A gift you give yourself, others and the world.
Directed by Lynn W. Huber, MSW, PhD
January 28th and 29th, 2010
Colorado Springs, CO
for more information or to download a flyer go to
http://www.stfrancis.org/WP/ws/default.aspx .
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Do you Search the Internet?
I do. And I use Good Search for all my searches - and earn a penny for Mary's Hope with each search.
Do you buy items online? From Amazon? Yahoo? eBay? Mary's Hope can get a percentage of those sales as well - as much as 25% from eBay! There are 1500 on-line stores, many that you know already.
So, won't you join me and use Good Search (powered by Yahoo) to search the internet...and to shop online? It's painless and nearly effortless. You simply add a Good Search toolbar to your homepage...and every time you search, search via the Good Search space. Mary's Hope will be grateful!
So far in 2010, searches and sales have earned 14830 pennies for Mary's Hope -- nearly double what was earned in 2009. Imagine what we could do in 2011 if you got involved??
Let me know if you'd like to help with this tiny little fundraising project. Email me at maryshope@qwestoffice.net or give me a call at 303-377-0293 and I'll help you get started.
And a heartfelt thanks to all of you who are already helping Mary's Hope using Good Search.
Sherry
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Mary's Hope Workshops
Executive Director
Sherry Niermann
303-377-0293
maryshope@qwestoffice.net
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