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The Leadership Advisor
"Helping Leaders Develop Leaders"
March 2009 - Volume 4 Edition 2
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SMILE

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." ~ John Wooden

"Take a walk outside every day and while you walk, SMILE." ~ unknown

"Trust involves risk, and authentic trust involves knowingly going into the unknown-together." ~ Fernando Flores

"In the absence of information, people will make things up." ~ Phil Eastman

"Never underestimate the power of BODY language." ~ Ursula, the Sea Witch, Little Mermaid

Eschertop
As the leader, I can protect my people from uncertainty by withholding information.

By Phil Eastman

In our last newsletter we launched a series to discuss, and hopefully dispel, several myths of leadership. You may recall that we defined a leadership myth as:

"A traditional and widely held belief about leadership that contains elements of truth but when put into practice proves to be fundamentally flawed."

Based on that definition, we offered a list of the twelve myths that we have encountered in our leadership development work. Last month we shared how to dispel the myth that "as the leader, I know what to do." This month we are discussing the pervasive and crippling myth "as the leader, I can protect my people from uncertainty by withholding information." Oh, if this myth was really true so much uncertainty and angst could be alleviated.

You may notice that this myth has an assumption built into it. It assumes that leaders withhold information out of a sense of protection rather than a desire to control. This is an important distinction because some leaders' purpose in withholding information is to control situations and people. Rather, we assume that leaders primarily withhold information because they believe it is in the best interest of their team, not out of some perverse need to control.

With that assumption in mind then, let's dispel the myth. Like all myths this one has its roots in justifiable if outdated practices. Historically, leadership was the requirement of just a few people at the top of the organization. The leadership suite held the cumulative efforts of the organization. If you will, the organization came together and "made sense" at the top. In those days, it was really the leader's responsibility to reconcile the activities and outcomes of the organization and plot the future of the organization without much interaction or advice from those below the leader. That was a simpler time and one that I am glad has passed.

Today organizations must come together around the customer, and as such, leadership is no longer only required from those at the top. Instead, leadership is a requirement of every person in the organization. This increasingly complex and powerful reality means that information is no longer something to control but is in fact the lifeblood of the organization.

In order to drive out this myth, we encourage leaders to share information early, openly, honestly and frequently. This should be the leader's mantra for communication. Let's look at an example to fuel this mantra. We conduct numerous strategic planning sessions for clients, and during those sessions, shifts in the organization strategy often occur. Those shifts in strategy usher change into the organization. The very nature of strategy is to be broad, and so at the end of strategy development session, a great deal of tactical work still needs to be done. It is tempting for leaders to want to withhold the announcement of the new strategy until they have all tactics defined and thus all the answers for people. The motivation is to avoid the anxiety that people inevitably feel when things change. Despite the inclination to wait, we encourage leaders to communicate early in the process so that employee can see there are no hidden agendas and so they can participate in the process of the strategy becoming a reality. The fatal flaw in the thinking of leaders who withhold information is "if I don't talk about it, they won't know." Wrong, people are smart and perceptive, and they know that something is happening when strategy is developed. You actually honor their intellect and perception when your communication is timely and effective.

So if you are one of the leaders who believes that withholding information is a way to protect people from uncertainty, I encourage you to begin dispelling that myth and start sharing early, openly, honestly and frequently with your people.

As the Leader, I can protect my people from uncertainty by withholding information, is #2 in a series of leadership myths, Phil promises to have fun exploring this year.

Phil Eastman is the founder and president of Leadership Advisors Group, a Boise-based consulting firm. Phil combines more than 25-years of leadership experience with his passion for consulting, coaching, and teaching to develop leaders, build teams, and improve performance. It is his desire to enhance leadership effectiveness for all of his clientele.

Phil earned his Bachelor of Business Administration in Management and Organization from Idaho State University. He is a graduate of the Pacific Coast Banking School at the University of Washington, where he is also an instructor. Phil also holds a Master of Arts degree in Theological Studies from Bethel Seminary.
What Every Body is Saying
By Lorene Rasmussen

Contrary to popular belief, I do embrace technology and find it to be something "I hate to live with and hate to live without." Nonetheless, I have a strong belief that with the onset of emails, voicemails, and text messaging, we have lost some of the essence of what makes us fully human. Many of us may even spend too much of our time speeding down the super highway into our virtual worlds of facebook, webinars, blogs, chat rooms, and LinkedIn.

The art of effective communication involves more than mere words. Although vocabulary can reveal a lot about our education and training, psychologists have proven that our body language carries the real message we are sending. Statistics show that only seven percent of our message is the actual words, with the other 93% being a blend of body language and intonation.

In the study of nonverbal communication, researchers have discovered that the limbic brain is responsible for how the body behaves in its environment, whether conscious or unconscious. The limbic brain is not only our emotional center, but it is also responsible for our safety, therefore never takes a break, even when we are asleep. It is for these reasons, the body will tell the truth, even if our words are trying desperately to articulate something entirely different. Perhaps then, the old adage is true, "actions speak louder than words."

What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People.
In Joe Navarro's book, What Every Body is Saying, he tells the story of how he became proficient at speed-reading people. He was born in Cuba but at eight years old was exiled to the United States during the Bay of Pigs. Unable to speak English, Joe had to learn to fit in with his new classmates by reading the "other language" around him. The nonverbal behaviors allowed him to assess whether teachers or children liked him, by the way they would raise their eyebrows (bright eyes) when they first saw him. In contrast, Joe would note those who did not find favor with him by the way they squinted their eyes (eye-blocking).

As a young boy, Joe considered the human body a "billboard" that communicated what someone was thinking via their facial expressions, gestures, behaviors, and body placement. Through these and many more "so-called" insignificant behaviors, Joe Navarro was able to successfully traverse his way safely through the classrooms and playgrounds of his youth and grow into a Special Agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Decoding nonverbal behaviors.
Fight, Flight, or Freeze. The limbic brain's primary function is to ensure our body's safety and manage our raw and raging emotions. By pondering the three-F's of nonverbal behavior, you can often detect the response of someone who just received a message that caused them feelings of distress, danger, or exposure.

The freeze response limits our movement so not to attract attention to ourselves, thus is engaged when we suddenly feel the need to "hide in plain sight." You may have experienced this reaction yourself while watching the climax to a suspenseful movie or even being confronted by a large barking dog. Another time the freeze response involuntarily occurs is when someone has been caught bluffing, stealing, or lying. The important thing here to remember is, when someone feels exposed or fearful, they will freeze.

The flight response is used to get away or distance ourselves from impending danger. Of course the apparent behavior would be to flee. However, since we live in a polite society, in addition to having adapted and conditioned ourselves not to run, we might turn or lean away from our object of danger or distress. Some people may place things in their laps or point their feet toward the nearest exit as to plan their escape. Distancing behaviors take place all the time and in every environment. The important thing to notice is whether someone is trying to distance themselves from you.

The fight response is the limbic brain's least favorite choice of the three-F's of nonverbal behaviors. Navarro notes, "When a person confronting danger cannot avoid detection by freezing and cannot save himself by distancing or escaping (flight), the only alternative left is to fight. . .turning fear into rage." In most social circles, rage would be an inappropriate response to perceived danger or discomfort; therefore, individuals might channel their aggression into an argument. Some arguments are considered fighting without using physical means. We can also exhibit our aggression through posturing, our eyes, or by violating someone's personal space.

Our limbic brain is wise not to choose the fight response as the first way to react. "When we are emotionally aroused-and a good fight will do that," states Navarro, "it affects our ability to think effectively." Possibly the best reason for observing nonverbal behavior is that you can modify your communication style in order to be more effective.

Face and Eyes. According to Navarro, "When it comes to emotions, our faces are the mind's canvas." If it is true, "the eyes are the window to the soul," then it is paramount for us to observe the eyes (and face) of those with whom we are communicating. As simple as that may sound, for some, eye contact is a very hard thing to practice. I am often complimented for my excellent eye contact. Now as noble as that is, I must confess, I have recently been diagnosed with sensorineural hearing loss and over time have compensated for it by reading lips. However, the best part of my habit is, because I prefer face-to-face communication, I usually get the privilege of seeing what other messages are being sent through the eyes and facial expressions.

Bright eyes are eyes that are full of positive feelings, wide open with eyebrows slightly arched and pupils dilated. If it has been awhile since you have seen a dear friend, there is a good chance both of you will involuntarily respond with bright eyes. It is equally as true that if someone new greets you with bright eyes, there is a good chance they like what they see.

The converse to bright eyes is "eye-blocking." Eye-blocking is the brain's way of covering up what it does not want to see and is exhibited by either the hand shielding the eyes or squinting.

What the words may not say, the lips may give you away. If someone's lips are full and relaxed, that is a good indication that they are content and comfortable. Contrarily, if the lips are pursed, tight, or compressed, one can surmise they are reflecting stress or anxiety.

Happy Feet. Because feet usually are ignored while observing someone, it is fascinating to be aware of those two appendages that can give you mounds of nonverbal information. Happy feet are feet and legs that have responded in a positive emotional way. They may bounce with joy or wiggle frantically. You do not even have to look under the table to see this behavior because the person, no doubt, has movement in their upper body from the vibration.

When we like someone or something, by nature we will turn toward it, torso, toes, and all. On the other hand, if we find something to be disagreeable, we may acknowledge it, but we certainly will not face it straight on since we tend to turn away from things or people we find uncomfortable. "When a person turns his feet away, it is normally a sign of disengagement, a desire to distance himself from where he is currently positioned," explains Joe.

The next time you are at the airport, watch people as they are uniting. If it is a happy reunion, their feet and legs will dance. If it is purely business or a casual reunion, the feet will point in the direction of the exit.

Following the Rules. One of Joe's first rules in observing and decoding nonverbal communication is keeping the behavior in context of what is happening around you during the exchange. For example, if a child's first impression of Joe was unfavorable, they would display eye-blocking. The next time you meet someone and they squint, be sure the sun is not in their eyes before you assume they do not like what they see or that they feel threatened.

Another rule that should be obvious but must be stated is be an observer of your environment. Another way to say it, remain present with whom you are conversing. Careful observation while engaged in the conversation will allow you to see subtle changes in the nonverbal behaviors, not only in others but yourself.

Joe finds it disheartening how often someone seems to be blindsided by life's events. He always hears the same complaints, "My wife just filed for divorce. I never had a clue she was unhappy with our marriage." In addition, "The guidance counselor tells me my son has been using cocaine for three years. I had no idea he had a drug problem." The good news is, being observant is an easily learned skill, so we do not have to go through life blindsided.

Pacifying behaviors. It only makes sense that being comfortable while communicating is essential to open dialog, but for many that may not be an option given their demanding work environments. During your work-a- day-world, begin looking at the various ways people will engage in pacifying behaviors to help undergo tremendous stress and negative events. Here are a few to observe:
  • A woman playing with her necklace while a man adjusts his tie.
  • Touching or stroking the face or neck.
  • Adjusting the collar of the shirt (regularly).
  • Licking the lips.
  • Stroking fingers across the palms or rubbing the hands together.
  • Leg cleansing by placing hands palm side down on the legs and rubbing down the thigh to the knee.
  • Excessive yawning.
  • Puffing the cheeks.
  • Self-administered body-hugs.

There's more where that came from. This is only a broad-stroke review of the hundreds of nonverbal behaviors that Joe Navarro outlined in What Every Body is Saying. If this at all piqued your interest in why you should "Never underestimate the power of BODY language," this book is definitely for you. If indeed only seven percent of the message is our word selection, then perhaps without face-to-face interactions, we are missing ninety percent of what people are trying to tell us.

Final Note. The "smile" is universal and means the same in every culture. Therefore, no matter where you, "you are never fully dressed without a smile."

P.S.You can find both Phil and me on LinkedIn and facebook. Although I prefer face-to-face, we find the social networking opportunities to be personally and professionally beneficial.

Do You See What I'm Thinking? is #2 in a series of informal book reviews.

Lorene Rasmussen is the Partner for Business Operations which guides and supports the daily and strategic operations of Leadership Advisors Group. She combines a unique sense of fun and organization to insure operations run smoothly and that clients receive the highest quality service possible. Lorene earned her Bachelor of Business Administration in Marketing from Boise State University and is a certified Life Coach through Genesis Enterprises in Seattle, Washington.
Prosci Conference

Phil Eastman will be a presenter at the 2009 Prosci Global Conference - Best Practices in Change Management held April 6-9, 2009 in Orlando, Florida.

This is the first conference of its type and will provide an opportunity for you to network with peers and listen to case studies to help you manage change in your organization.

You can learn more at by clicking on the logo. . .Hope to see you there!
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Phil Eastman & Lorene Rasmussen
Leadership Advisors Group

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