Helping Colleagues
Get A Clue

by Cynthia Clay, President, NetSpeed Learning Solutions

Clueless Colleagues are often decent people with a limited awareness of their negative impact on their coworkers. Focused on their own needs, they often miss the social cues of others (someone politely coughing, looking at the time on a cell phone, or backing out of the room, for example).

Two Clueless Colleague Stories

Meet Li, a manager near retirement who visits the office of her colleague, Judy, each day to chat for a while.  Coffee cup in hand, Li stands just inside the door and chatters away while Judy tries to telegraph that she's too busy to talk.  Judy tries everything from continuing to work, filing papers, taking phone calls, to turning her back on Li who continues to talk until her break is up 15 minutes later.

Consider Joe, a task-focused, goal-directed coworker who constantly interrupts his colleagues when they are in meetings, on the phone, or having a private conversation. Focused on getting his work done, Joe is oblivious to his colleagues' annoyance. They perceive him as arrogant and rude.

Clueless colleagues come in many forms but what unites them is their lack of sensitivity to their impact on the people in their work environment. (Watch a short video to view an example of a clueless colleague.)

Take a look at a few clues that might identify the presence of a clueless colleague. He may:

• Place inappropriate posters on the wall
• Fail to clean up his own messes
• Talk too loudly in the hallway
• Interrupt frequently
• Leave dirty dishes in the kitchen sink
• Clip his fingernails (or toenails) at work
• Make inappropriate sounds (whistles, burps, slurps, or sniffs)
• Play loud music
• Have body odor
• Leave long-winded voice mail messages

These are just a few examples of potentially clueless behavior. Fortunately no single clueless colleague is likely to exhibit all of these behaviors. But if you feel annoyed, complain regularly about someone's cluelessness, or feel disrespected, you may be working with a clueless colleague.

There are three principles that can help you respond constructively to clueless behavior: Take Responsibility, Build Relationships, and Be Real.

Take Responsibility

• Consider your role and how you might have contributed
• Respect your needs. Anticipate his needs and take preventive action.
• Perform well by modeling behavior you would like to see.
• Communicate your needs. Establish ground roles.

Build Relationships

• Reduce his stress.
• Network with and help him so he gets to know you.
• Show empathy for his challenges and stressors.
• Protect his self-esteem.

Be Real

• Bring up your concerns.

There's no point in suffering in silence. Your clueless colleague needs to hear about his impact. Have that conversation in private, listen well to his explanations, paraphrase frequently, and clarify your needs. Together you may be able to come up with a mutual solution that satisfies you both.

The Rest of the Story

Judy explained to Li that she found it difficult to stop her work in the morning to talk. She suggested that she and Li meet for lunch to socialize. Judy agreed to post a sign and close her office door when she didn't want to be interrupted. Li agreed to respect Judy's need for uninterrupted work time.

One of Joe's coworkers took him aside and explained that she found his tendency to interrupt her to be a difficult behavior to deal with.  She spoke for herself only, not for the team, and told him that his interrupting her conversation with someone else, instead of waiting until that conversation ended, made it seem as if Joe thought his needs were more important than her needs. After this discussion, Joe agreed to monitor his behavior and wait before speaking or come back when the conversation was concluded.

Listen to the audio recording to hear how to respond constructively when a clueless colleague just doesn't seem to get their impact. 

This article is based on Peer Power: Transforming Workplace Relationships by Cynthia Clay and Ray Olitt. Read a sample chapter to learn about their mistakes they've made in their past communication practices.

Speed Read Recommendation

The Magic of Thinking Big

by Dr. David Schwartz

Trainer Tips: Wonderng About Web Cams?

by Cynthia Clay

Many web conferencing platforms now offer web cams. As a trainer, you can be on camera, streaming your video as you facilitate a classroom discussion. Yet, I often hear trainers tell me that they were advised (by someone) not to use the streaming video.

Trainers frequently tell us that they are worried about being on camera because they don't know how to use it. They fear they will forget about the camera and embarrass themselves.

While I don't want to minimize these concerns, I also believe that the advantages of being on camera far outweigh the disadvantages in the virtual classroom.

Here are a few tips to make video work:

• Place your camera directly above your video playback image. When you check your appearance (and we all do), your eyes will only move slightly from the camera lens to your image.· Center yourself and include your head, neck and shoulders. Participants should be able to see your facial expressions on camera.
• Clean up your background. You don't need to put a blank screen behind you. A little personality in your workplace humanizes the virtual world. Just remove the clutter. And check your image to be sure plants or foreign objects don't appear to be growing from your head.
• Look directly into the camera lens when you are speaking and imagine you can see your participants. Glance at your PowerPoint slides but look right back to the camera lens. You'll create the illusion of eye contact that makes it harder for people to sneak away to multi-task.
• Look directly into the camera lens when a participant is speaking. Nod your head and use other nonverbal listening behaviors. Your webinar participants will love that you are clearly listening to what they have to say.
• Practice freezing your camera and muting your phone line so that you can smoothly disappear for a minute while participants are working on an exercise. You can stretch, take a drink of water, or sneeze without anyone being the wiser. Then practice turning the camera back on and unmuting your phone line. You're back!

In our Virtual Facilitator course, I often ask participants whether they like or dislike watching the presenter on streaming video. While people sometimes mention that low bandwidth may create a jerky image, 95% of participants state that they like being able to see the presenter because it helps create the feeling that they are in a virtual classroom.