One of the roots that lies at the bottom of all this is the obsession with pleasing others.

Notice I said OBSESSION, which goes way past mere generosity of spirit. With obsession, you've got the uneasy sense that you can't do enough, no matter how hard you try.

The spread on the dining-room table isn't sumptuous enough. The presents aren't enough. The good cheer isn't enough. There aren't enough baubles on the tree.

And then there are the relatives. What can you possibly do to make them feel you're measuring up?

But that's your obsession, and with obsession, you've got a losing game from the get-go. It's a rigged situation. You're going down. The holidays are a job you wouldn't take in your right mind. You know the boss (whoever that is) is going to give you a failing grade.

You automatically feel off-center. And as the days pass, you keep trying to get that center back. But you're rolling a heavy stone up the hill, and it keeps falling down.

So why not back off a little bit and consider a more sane approach? It isn't your mission to make everyone around you joyous. Joy isn't a function of three turkeys instead of one or a hundred gifts instead of forty. You aren't completely responsible for single- handedly holding up the national economy on the strength of your credit card.

The holidays are a group activity. Everybody needs to give a bit of cheer and delight. If a few of them don't, that's not your problem.

So first and foremost, enjoy the holidays yourself. Remain calm. Forego trying to transform the basic nature of other people. You might be surprised at the outcome. Less stress. And your AUTHENTIC good cheer might just transmit to the other folks. They might relax a little, too. They might remember that a happy occasion is not a manic occasion.

And even though your eating habits take a turn for the worse for these few days, the effects won't be magnified by the ragged stress that comes from trying to be all things to all people. In case you hadn't noticed, that tactic doesn't work. It makes the whole scene feverish.

Just because other people might go crazy during the holidays, that isn't a sign that you have to, too. Be contrary. Stay sane. If you do, you might even remember what actually happened, instead of seeing it all later as a weird blur.

Santa Claus doesn't deliver all those presents to all those houses through some hectic obsession. He may be happy-but he's also calm, cool, and collected. He knows what he's doing. He gets in and gets out. He has help. He makes sure the elves and the reindeers do their jobs. He grants wishes, but within reason. He knows that, in order for an occasion to become magical, everyone has to add a bit of spirit. It isn't all on his shoulders. And THAT'S why he's cheerful.

Have a good one.

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Relaxtone -- for enhanced relaxation & sleep $20.90

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CALL 800-608-5602 for YOUR FREE 15-MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION with one of our health coaches, to discuss nutritional solutions for your health challenges.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The products suggested, are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Please check with your health care practitioner for your best health options.