02.01.2010    Michael Fox CPCC, founder of m�agine!, is a professional coach and trainer, author and creative artist, whose work has been featured throughout the world. Michael is a Certified Practitioner of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.� Do you know someone who might benefit from our weekly email?    Active listening...      Granddad napped and snored. Grandmother read and dozed. And the young grandchildren, well, we lost ourselves in television. Occasionally, we'd battle for the "clicker," an early television remote--quite the wonder. It was the occasional Friday night, in the den following supper, at my paternal Grandparents' home in Downey, California. Granddad would awaken from his episodic naps with a benign snort, as if surprised to discover he had fallen asleep. Much to our chagrin, he would talk. We'd absently offer one-word responses--"Really?," "Wow," "Okay,"--all the while our eyes fixed on the screen, hoping he'd notice how engrossed we were in The Partridge Family. (I'm not certain which part of this reflection is most humiliating.) Often, ere the eyelids closed once again, Granddad would continue to talk; we'd continue to stare at the screen and feign listening while grunting our affirmations. Occasionally, he'd catch us off-guard. We'd hear him say, "Well, what do you think?" Embarrassed, we'd realize only too late that we'd missed a question. We'd attempt recovery with a thoughtful, "I don't know." Occasionally, however, it would misfire and Granddad would ask incredulously, "You mean you don't know when your birthday is?," or, perhaps, "You don't know the name of your grammar school?" Even now, I'm ashamed of these recollections, but they remind me of how few people truly feel heard. Today, I listen with intention. Okay, most of the time. Active listening communicates value to others, is an expression of our lovingkindness toward them, and acknowledges that we are open to learn. Active listening includes the following qualities: stop and pay attention; show up fully and authentically; use physical listening; ask appropriate, curious questions; reframe what you have heard; listen for and reflect back feeling states; summarize meaning; share your reactions appropriately; withhold judgment while listening; acknowledge areas of difference. Where's the "do-better" place for you? When and with whom might you practice active listening? How might your relationships improve though active listening--all of your relationships, ranging from casual to intimate? Michael Fox m�agine! 530/613.2774 407 Myrtle Drive Farmerville, LA, USA 71241   In addition to personal and professional coaching, m�agine! specializes in spiritual transformation coaching, employing its proprietary models --Values, Vision, Voice and Heart, Soul, Mind & Strength-- as well as Myers-Briggs Type Indicator� curriculum published by CPP, the People Development People. Michael's books include  Complete in Christ, Complete in Christ Spiritual Transformation Workbook, and Biblio�files. Coaching fees are based upon a sliding scale. Contact us for details. For additional information, visit our website at maginethepossibilities.net. Limited scholarships are available for spiritual transformation coaching. On the flip side, if you are able, please inquire about opportunities to fund scholarships for those who cannot afford coaching fees. View our archives!