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We frequently get stuck in our perspective--either in reflection or in anticipation--of an "event." Often our perspective is accompanied by a message that is somehow disabling. It's common for us to resign ourselves to our current perspective without exploring other possible points of view. In fact, our perspective can prove more incapacitating than the event itself and, even--ultimately and unfortuantely--define us.
It's possible, however, to reframe an event in a way that offers a fresh perspective and a sense of renewed possibility. Reframing is not simply cliched optimism; instead, it allows us to shift the context of an event--while honoring its reality--in a way that illuminates an opportunity or a pathway that wasn't evident only moments before. To reframe an event doesn't eliminate difficulties that might be inherent in the event, but it does allow us to resume control of our disposition and direction.
"And now," as Monty Python exclaims, "for something completely different"--a personally humiliating example of reframing perspective.
When I was a young boy, I had a recurring dream. A nightmare. It sounds silly now, but back then, it was quite disturbing. In the dream--always in glorious black and white--I was lined up with another at the starting line of a race. My perceived opponent was a massive stone wheel, several feet in diameter. I was--try to hide your smirks--a paperclip.
I know, somehow it all makes sense to those who know me and who appreciate, or who at least tolerate, my self-deprecating sense of humor. My perspective of the dream, back in the day as they say, was that I--the lowly paperclip--had to best the enormous stone wheel in a race. Did I mention that the finish line was a quarter inch from the starting line? Of course, subject to the limitations of a paperclip, I tried futiley to rock myself backward and forward to move toward the finish. While the stone wheel simply had to pitch itself forward ever so slightly to clear the line. Upon each occurrence of the dream, I awoke in a sweat. The dream with its disturbing images fostered a sense, while I was yet in "single digits," that I could not live up to my own expectations. I was likely the only third grader at Wilson Elementary School in Lynwood, California on Geritol and a prescription for anxiety. I recall abandoning Al Yankovic and other childhood friends at my seventh birthday party, seeking silence and solitude in the backyard, contemplating, "I'm seven years old today, and what do I have to show for it." I know, could this be any more humiliating? At some point, however, I chose to adopt a new perspective around the dream. I, the humble paper clip flipping about from end to end, was not in competition with the stone wheel; no, I was encouraging it to move forward! And now, in hindsight--having long ago ditched the Geritol and the anti-anxiety medicine--I see the dream as a sort of comedic prophecy of a life dedicated to encouragement. Now, that's reframing. So... What event in your life--either real or imagined, upon reflection or in anticipation--might benefit from a change of perspective? How might you recast the event in terms that would honor the bigger picture that is your life? What's possible, without minimizing the struggles, with a shift in the context of the event? Might it be possible, simply by reframing, to live proactively, rather than reactively? Ok, I've played the fool in this post. How much more is possible when you can employ reframing and have fun doing it? Pride is, after all, so overrated! |
