What values did your Creator "hard-wire" within you? Just who do you think you are? Well, that sounds rude. Let's try again... 

When I speak of values--in the context of this post--I'm not talking about the core convictions we have around objective truth. Values are neither things that we do nor things that we have. Values indeed are intangible qualities, compelling passions. There is nothing, then, inherently virtuous in our values. What is honored is not the value itself, but the ability to live in wholeness, in fullness, in integrity, to our values or compelling passions.  

What do values, compelling passions, look like? I've worked with men and women whose passions include challenge, soulishness, creativity, transparency, strength, inspiration, justice, vulnerability, complexity, independence, home, and more. Sometimes, values, or passions, ultimately show up as rich, metaphorical terms such as Window, Jester, Independence, Orion, Cooperstown, Shepherd David, Aha!, and other textured images that capture layers of significance. (In scripture, recall the prophet Malachi's allusion to Elijah to represent the substance of John the Immerser and the apostle John's use of "The Word" to capture the essence of Jesus.)

There are numerous benefits to values discovery. Identifying and living in alignment with your values--your compelling passions--empowers you to make deliberate decisions, to live a resonant and passionate life--a life that is both full and fulfilled.  

But there's more... 

Living in alignment with your values can significantly decrease your level of stress. When stress intrudes upon our hearts and minds--sapping the energy of our soul and strength--we typically regard it as the inevitable impact of other people or of external circumstances. Stress, however, is more often the result of the disparity between, on one side, our reaction--whether passive or assertive--to the impact of other people and external circumstances and, on the other side, our compelling passions and core convictions.

This knowing allows us to design our own experience in circumstances when we previously would have surrendered ourselves as victims to stress-inducers. We can powerfully and consciously choose to honor our compelling passions and core convictions even when life is difficult, rather than be manipulated by circumstance and environment.

Values discovery is most effective in conversation with a coach or other trained professional. However, there are some exercises you can do on your own to "unpack" your compelling passions...

First, identify three defining moments of your life. A defining moment is unlikely to be a "large" moment such as birth, betrothal or burial. A defining moment can be either a pleasant or an unpleasant memory: a pleasant, resonant, memory might be of a moment when you felt, "I was born for this!"; an unpleasant, dissonant, memory might be of a moment when an expression of anger or resentment was disproportionate to the actual event that elicited the response.

Second, give careful thought over many days to each of your defining moments. Ask yourself, "Why was this moment resonant, or dissonant?" When you think you've found the answer, ask once again, "Yes, but why?" Like a petulant child, with each subsequent answer, ask once again, "Yes, but why?" Ask, "Why?," at least five times; each time you will force yourself to dig deeper, to uncover greater riches of insight.

Third, when you think you've uncovered an essential value, a compelling passion, in its purest form, shift perspective. Ask yourself, "Where else in my life does this value show up?" For example, to what books, movies, activities, people are you drawn? How might the value you've uncovered show up in them? Where else in your memory, in either the distant or recent past, has this value shown up? Are there patterns of behavior that support the value of, well, this value? 

Or, you can talk to a coach.