2010 was a year of many tears for me.  Tears of joy and tears of great sorrow.

It began in June when my husband and I found out we were pregnant.  We have two beautiful boys that we adopted as babies, but this was my first pregnancy.  To say I was ecstatic would be an understatement. 

Then our world came crashing down on us in September.  I went in for my 18 week ultrasound and was devastated when I was told that my water had leaked at some point, that no fluid was left around the baby, and delivery was imminent.  My first thought was just total disbelief.  And then pure agony.  What was God doing?

For the next 7 weeks, I defied all odds and didn't deliver.  Then, on October 27^th, at exactly 25 weeks pregnant, I was admitted to the hospital for what we hoped would be a 9 week stay.  But shortly after I was admitted, the monitors showed I was having contractions and I was rushed back for an emergency c-section. That afternoon we welcomed our precious baby girl, Eliza Grace, into the world.  Weighing in at only 1 ½ pounds and 13 inches long, she was incredibly tiny but perfectly formed.  God in his great mercy had allowed me to sustain my pregnancy to the point that I got to meet my daughter and see how He had fearfully and wonderfully made her. 

The NICU staff fought hard for her, but after an hour of being worked on, we were told she was not going to live.  They unhooked her tiny body from all the tubes and wires and placed my baby on my chest.  And that is where she spent the next 3 hours, until she quietly passed from my arms into the arms of her Heavenly Father.    

Eliza's short life impacted me dramatically.  I have been a Christian since I was young, but I've never really been challenged in my faith- until I was standing at the grave of my baby girl.  At that moment, I had a choice to make.  To turn to the One who gave and took away, or turn away from Him.  And I chose to cling desperately to my Father.  I got into the Word with a new fervency.  It was no longer just words on a page, but truth and life. 

As I sought to learn more about God through His Word, one thought kept popping up over and over - this isn't how it is supposed to be.  But I came to conclude that nothing in this world is.  Too often as a Christian I get into the habit of thinking I deserve good days and easy paths.  But that isn't what God has promised me.  As I read the Word, I saw numerous times how faithful Christians suffered and the ultimate suffering of Christ on the cross.  Suffering and pain are part of this fallen world.  But those of us who trust in Christ can have great hope that God is using our pain to draw us closer to Him.   I've taken great comfort from 1 Peter 1:6-7,  "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."  God is using this tough time in my life to bring me to Him and shape me into who He wants me to be. It hurts, but I trust that it is for my good and His glory.

My time in the Word has also been opening my eyes to how I can glorify God through my grief.  And I can't do it if I'm not trusting God with His plans for my life.  He wants me to "trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5). To trust even though I don't always understand why He has chosen certain paths for me to walk.  To trust that "in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)  I bring Him glory when I stop relying on myself and fully rely on the One who made me. 

I'm sad that my story didn't end with the "happily ever after" that I was hoping for.  It's hard to think about all the things that might have been if Eliza would have lived.  But the good news about my story and Eliza's story is that it isn't done.  Instead it is "to be continued".  For my time here on earth is just a dot on the time-line of eternity that I will have to spend with my daughter and my Lord.

So whatever your stress may be, whether it is something big like grief or just the little day to day things that weigh you down, bring it to the Lord.  Seek Him through His Word.  He wants you to trust His plan for you.  And, to quote my sons' Jesus Storybook Bible, to remember that God loves you with a never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love.    

One year ago I went to Romania with two other Valley women to help with a Christian women's conference hosted by Valley missionaries, Tom and Jill Clark.  This was my first trip out of the country and I really didn't know what it meant for a country to be "dark." 

Dictionary.com's definition of "dark" includes,  gloomy, cheerless, dismal, sullen, frowning, a dark expression, destitute of knowledge, unenlightened.  This pretty well describes what I saw there. In general, the people I saw on streets and shops, appeared hopeless, unhappy, solemn, and unapproachable.  There was no eye contact, no expressions of courtesy, no laughter, not even much talking.  This is a country that has only been out of the domination of communism for about two decades and you can tell it.

The environment was dark as well.  Romania is crowded, with 21.5 million people in an area smaller than Wyoming.  2 million people live in the capital of Bucharest.  In Bucharest the buildings are all made of gray cement blocks, there is little green space, playgrounds are in the middle of parking lots, dog droppings and graffiti abound.  Electricity, hot water, government services are not reliable.  Bribes to government officials are expected, even for things such as getting a driver's license.

In April Jill Clark will be having another Christian women's conference.  The name of the conference is, "The Hope that Brings Life."  The women of this country need that hope desperately.

Please join me in praying for Jill as she prepares, for the women who will attend the conference, for the conference presenters, for the accommodations and most of all for the "Hope" that brings true life, our Lord Jesus Christ, to be present and evident to the women. 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.    1 Peter 1:3

Deb Marley is a mother of four and grandmother of five.  She is a retired state employee, served as an EFCA Crisis Response Missionary in New Orleans and is currently the church's Outreach Assistant. Deb has been a member at Valley for 13 years.

As I ran on the beach that morning, I knew it was one of my last times. Tears ran down my face as I asked God again, "Lord, are you sure you want us to leave this Hawaiian island of paradise and move back to IOWA?" And as I walked along the shore of the path that I had run so many times, I saw these tiny seashells that I had never seen before in the shape of a teardrop. As I leaned down to pick them up, the Lord spoke to me, " I see your tears dear one. I love that your heart is being obedient to me even though you are leaving the place that you love. I have a plan and a purpose for you.  I will guide you through it. Keep your eyes on ME!" I thanked God for seeing my sorrow, knowing my heart, and speaking those words to me. I carried those little teardrop shells home and put them in a bowl by the sink to remind me that my job was to keep my eyes on HIM. I looked at them often when I needed a reminder of God's plan and would say the scripture, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11&12  

We arrived back ready to move into our new house and begin our new chapter and then were saddened to find that pipes had burst and flooded our entire Iowa home 2 days before closing.  A few more tears and then a thanks to God that ALL our stuff was not inside and we hadn't closed on this house leaving us with a moldy mess! So we moved into my parents' home and helped my mom take care of my dad with his leg amputation, trips to Mayo, and failing health.  We lived out of our suitcases for 5 ½ months and put all our stuff in storage. We started to realize how much we needed each other during this transition time of change. What God knew and we didn't was that my dad was going to pass away and go to heaven, so those precious months were now a treasured gift of time spent together!

God opened up an opportunity to move to the surrounding Des Moines area. So six months later, we finally unpacked our boxes and moved into a home.  I asked God, "Why are we here at this house?" And as I reached my hand down to pick up something in the yard, I saw this rock with a cross in it that still sits on my dresser.  God gave me another visual as a reminder of His plan!  I cried and accepted that this house was exactly where God wants me to be. My life is HIS plan and I needed to open my eyes to see it.  I thought about the legacy of love and praying for people that my dad had left in my heart to carry on now in his absence and I started to see the needs in my neighborhood. God revealed a lonely neighbor who needed a friend, a mother whose son was in a coma and needed support and prayer, a mother who had a special needs child who needed an advocate, and another neighbor going through a similar situation that only we could understand. So God unfolded His plan.

Then God showed me one more big plan. My mom called to say that she had cancer and as the tears rolled down my face again, I knew God had me right where HE needed me. So I packed up my suitcase and have lived the past year between my mom's house and mine to care for her. God has given us the strength for each chapter of sadness, surprise, grief, joy, and unexplainable circumstances.  Enough life experience and HIS strength, so that I could not only hold my dear mom's hands, but also my neighbor's hand as she lost her husband and now has cancer as well. 

So if you are ready to move or are weary of unpacking yet another box, know God has you where HE wants you! He knows the beginning from the end and has the BEST plan and purpose in mind for you! He will place you where you are needed to further His kingdom here on earth and care for those He loves. The Lord has proved himself trustworthy, faithful, supportive, and good every day along my journey and I know HE will do the same for you!  

Kristi along with her husband and daughter attend Valley Church.  Kristi serves as a Deaconess. Her bubbly personality makes anyone feel "at home" in her presence.    

 If you are planning on attending, please RSVP to Laurie Hews at lahews@gmail.com.

2 Blessed 2 B Stressed  

As Winter creeps to an end and Spring marches ever closer, we are all challenged with balancing the excitement to get out and take advantage of longer days, warmer weather, more activities to do.  While already knowing that the Winter months NEVER slowed any of us down - not one bit!

Look around.  One of ten people you see at work, at the store, and wherever you go in your daily life is over-stressed at any given moment. Stress, Stress, Stress - good stress, bad stress, it's ALL stress!  Even a 'stress-free' life would be enormously boring and probably end up being stressful.

So how do we find balance?  It is certainly a love/hate relationship with stress. Let's take a look at what stress is ... Stress is any change in your normal routine or health, whether mental, physical, or spiritual.Stress occurs when bad things happen, as well as happy things.  Some examples could be getting a raise or promotion at work vs. getting fired or laid-off.  It could be due to a change in your diet or exercise program.  Maybe it's an ongoing decision or issue that must be acknowledged or resolved.  For most of us, the biggest cause of stress is likely relationships - family, work, friends, etc.  As you can see, any of these could be positive or negative stressors.   

So how do we identify stress and how do we relieve stress effectively?Here is some helpful information that will help us all do a better job of 'managing' our stress loads as our schedules pick up pace this Spring and Summer.  Remember, part of responsible stress management may require saying 'NO' or taking some things out of your already full schedule.  It's okay to have open spaces in your weekly planner!    

Featuring speakers Lisa Harper, Luci Swindoll, Angie Smith, Kim Cash Tate, and Sheila Walsh

Musical guests Mary Mary and Selah

Drama by Nicole Johnson

and

Special guest Dr. Henry Cloud

Special Valley Church price of $79 includes all sessions as well as a boxed lunch on Friday and Saturday!

(Price will go up to $89 on April 15)

While supplies last, women purchasing two or more tickets will have the opportunity to select a gift from our collection of Women of Faith books (including titles by Lisa Harper, Thelma Wells, Anita Renfroe, Marilyn Meberg, and Dr. Henry Cloud), CDs, and bags.  After you purchase your tickets, we will e-mail you a list of all available promotional items so you can make your selection--or pick out your own gift this Sunday at the Women of Faith display.  This is a first-come, first-served promotion so don't delay!

Tickets are in limited supply, call today!!   

Contact Gina Kincade at 226-9973 or via e-mail at  

ginak@valley-church.com.

Click here to purchase tickets online.

For a preview of some of the speakers that you will hear at Imagine, please visit the Valley Church Women's Ministry Facebook Page.

Gina Kincade serves the women of Valley Church as the Administrative Assistant for Women's Ministry.  Gina is also the Women of Faith Group Leader for Valley Church.  She along with her husband, Matt and their two sons, have attended Valley Church for two years. 

Intellectually I know I have plenty of clothes in my closet, but emotionally, it doesn't always feel that way. These emotions intensify at the end of winter because I have been wearing the same sweaters for months; they're cute, but get old fast. New clothes seem to be calling my name. Truth is, new clothes seem to be calling my name even when it isn't the end of the season.

When I started teaching about modesty some people would ask me if I touched on modesty in the amount of money people spend on clothes. This was something I didn't really want to approach because it didn't seem nearly as fun as putting on a fashion show and I really don't like to talk to people about money. However, the reality is we can spend too much on clothes. Where is that line? Well I'm not going to draw a line in the sand, but here are a few suggestions.

1. Know your limit. Everyone has a certain amount of money coming in. I would suggest never going into debt for a new outfit.
2. Pray about it. It is always good to spend time in prayer and make sure your heart is in line with God's heart for you. Ask Him how you are doing with your clothes budget.
3. Don't compare. As in the rest of life, everyone has a different budget. Don't get hung up on what is in someone else's closet.
4. Be creative. Even if you are a billionaire you can buy too many clothes. Don't be afraid to be creative with what you already own.
5. Buy one give one. I have a friend who gives away a piece of clothing every time she gets something new. This may not always be possible, but it's a great thing to practice if you are able.
6. Be Free. If you aren't spending more than you have, know you are inline with God's heart, and aren't comparing yourself to other people; you can be free to shop with a clear conscience.

Madness doesn't just show its beautiful face in March for anyone who has children ages birth through kindergarten.  It is pretty much a way of life. Cue MOPS every first and third Friday of the month. What a wonderful time to share life's stories with other moms who just get it. Moms who know merely surviving a trip to the grocery store is reason to celebrate with a little chocolate. 

During March and April, we have a mix of practical and thought-provoking guest speakers for our MOPS meetings.  On Friday, March 4, Dr. Amy McEntaffer will speak on women's health issues and field our questions. There will be no meeting on Friday, March 18 as we all take time during spring break to be with our families.  The fun starts again on April 1 with Kimberly Stewart, resident author at Valley Church. She will speak about her new book Operation Bonnet and take our questions on a variety of topics.  Finally, April 15 brings Principal Beth Thorton from Western Hills Elementary to educate us on getting our children ready for kindergarten. 

As you can see, we have a lot to look forward to as we go into the season of March Madness.  If you have ever thought about attending a MOPS meeting or are desperate for adult time amidst changing diapers and chasing toddlers in your socks and underwear, I implore you to attend a meeting.  We love meeting new moms and learning from each other.   

Before I close, I want to remind every woman of every season of life to remember Paul's doxology in Ephesians 3:20-21.  Paul tells us that now is the time to give glory to God for his supreme power and ability. Not tomorrow or during naptime. Now.  Priscilla Shirer shared her insight for this verse during a recent Bible study I took.  She taught me that even in the midst of prison, Paul gave an outpouring of praise, worship and honor to God. I want to be like that! Stress will come and go, sometimes by the minute, but I try my hardest to praise God during hard times...and throw in a little reminder that I'm almost at my breaking point. Let us all remember that if God will lead us to it, He will lead us through it. Here's to a stress-free March Madness at your house and mine.  But if not, just think of it as an opportunity to praise our God for his many blessings bestowed upon us.   

Meaghan Slama and her husband Tim have attended Valley Church for 3 years.  She became the mother of a preschooler 18 months ago when her son Tyler was born.  Meaghan is a member of the Valley Church MOPS Steering Team. For more information about MOPS, please contact Valley Church at 226-9973.  

In 2004, Hope Ministries began reaching out to homeless single women and their children in Des Moines through their Hope Family Center.  This center consists of three eight-bedroom houses that become home to these women and their families and provides them with long-term Christian residential living and a life-recovery program.   Their 18-24 month recovery program called H.E.A.R.T. is designed to help residents break free from the cycle of poverty and addiction so they can go on to become productive members of our community. While in the H.E.A.R.T. program, women and families replace addiction, anger and confusion with Christ-centered tools that build maturity, and strength through these phases: healing, equipping, accountability, responsibility and transition. During their time in the program, women overcome life-dominating habits; learn essentials such as growing in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and understanding the Bible; develop and manage healthy relationships; acquire self-evaluation and life-skills and set goals for a more stable future and a future of HOPE.

For the past two Christmas seasons, Valley Church Women's Ministries has been blessed to be a part the Hope Family Center's Adopt-a-Family program.  Through this program, we are given the opportunity to serve these residents right here in Des Moines by providing them with Christmas presents.  For most of these women and children, our gifts are the only ones they receive at Christmas.  Participating in the Adopt-a-Family program has been a great way for us to give a gift of hope to these women and children the way God gave us the truly indescribable gift of his son, Jesus.  

Our 2010 Adopted Family sends a great BIG Thank You to all of you who participated in the Adopt-a-Family program.  Our Adopted Family mom said, "Thank you soooo much for helping me with providing a Great Christmas for my children and myself.  With love in Christ, a very grateful Mom and Family."  Be looking for information coming this Fall about how YOU and YOUR Family can participate int he 2011 Hope Ministries Adopt-a-Family program here at Valley Church through Women's Ministries.

Dawn, her husband Rob and their two children are actively involved at Valley Church.  Dawn gives leadership each Fall to the Hope Ministries Adopt-a-Family program through Valley Women's Ministry.  She has a real passion for helping others. 

Places to Go... 

And...we invite you to attend a very special event and fundraiser for the Hope Family Center. The 2011 Hearts for Hope Women's Tea takes place on Saturday, May 7th.  Keynote Speaker is Gracia Burnham, Missionary Hostage Survivor.  To find out more and purchase your tickets go to: www.hopeiowa.org      

 You Are Invited to a Mid-Day  

Connections Lunch - Tuesday, March 8th

12:00noon until 1:00PM 

Special Feature:  Networking in the New Year

  Guest Speaker:   Mary Walton from Hutchinson, Kansas

"Learn how to find the genuine article in life"

Reservations or cancellations by email to wdmhawkeyefan@aol.com

Invite your friends for this special event and make your reservations early!

Please make reservations/cancellations by Friday, March 4

Phone contact - Sara @ 988-0872  Mark your calendars for Tuesday, May 10, 2011

                                                       Next Midday Connection - Military Focus

                                                                                       Affiliated with Stonecroft Ministries

Sites to see...

Great E-Devotional Site...check it out 

http://www.girlfriendsingod.org/ 

debil@valley-church.com