Trail Mix #110, The Course Of Conversation

Jesus said, "...Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." (Mathew 12:34, NLT) That's actually a pretty frightening thought. I've heard some pretty malicious things come out of people's mouths. When I searched for Biblical references about the power of our words, I found some pretty eye opening perspectives. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue ..." (Proverbs 18:21) Think about that. Think about the last conversation you had.

You have the power to lift up or tear down a person with a single word. James wrote, "Take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." (James 3:4-5) Solomon wrote in Proverbs, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (Proverbs 12:18) Are you generally speaking words of healing or is your anger/contempt/frustration coming out like a sword?

Jesus said, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." (Matthew 26:50). Job said, "your sin prompts your mouth." (Job 15:5) And David wrote, "Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows." (Psalm 64:2-4) I've taken some pretty "deadly arrows" in my life. Probably dished out a few too, unfortunately. But I hope I'm learning not only how to guard my tongue, but also how to better offer life with such a powerful tool.

Before you open your mouth to respond, give pause for just a second to consider the motive behind what you are about to say. What do you intend to impart to the hearer. Speak the truth always, but speak it in love, not anger. Speak it with kindness, not cutting. Author Rob Flood wrote, "The course of any conflict is determined by the responder, not the initiator." You get to choose the direction of the conversation. Where will you take it, and why?

Greg Tutwiler, CCLC, BCPC