Trail Mix #105, March 3rd, 2010, Are Being Transformed

Journaling is a regular part of my life. What I once considered a difficult task, has become a lifeline for me on many evenings. Now it's as much an anticipated exercise as eating a delicious meal. I have worked out many thoughts through the pages of my journal. I have recorded task lists, written letters that never got mailed, prayed, jotted down favorite quotes and Scripture passages, and wrestled with God over life circumstances. And now, when I find myself struggling to get between the pages of a current book, or read my Bible even, I can turn to the musings in my journal for nuggets of refreshment and life perspectives. It's the record of my journey, and recounting it on occasion brings solace where other sources can't.

As I dialed back through the pages one evening this past week, I sensed God taking me to places where I had not long ago traveled through, and relate them to some current struggles that have been shared with me by others in recent conversations. I felt Father encourage me to share a few of them here with you. So I now trust Him to flow through these next series of entries to the right person or persons.

(Journal entry for 11/1/2009 - ... Are Being Transformed)

It feels like I'm back at one of those places again ... striving?
No - just uncertainty ... where am I going?
Where has God got me headed?
I'm disappointed? disillusioned?
Father, bring your Kingdom ...

Have I been changed at all?
Am I the person You want me to be at this point in my life?
Yes, of course I have been changed; and I am being changed. How easy it is to get caught up in the day-to-day, and overlook where I've come from. The transformation is truly a process. I recall Paul writing to the Corinthians in his second letter, "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)

I can't rush the process or get ahead of God and His plan for my life. When I do that it only slows the progress. "I" interfere with the transformation. And the striving creates uncertainty because I am now my own boss again. My questions aren't getting answered because I'm looking to the wrong source. I get like the little kid in the department store who wanders too far from daddy and gets lost. He hasn't wandered from me, I have wandered away from Him.

Bring me back Jesus, bring me back.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Greg Tutwiler, CCLC, BCPC