Major decisions can be brutal sometimes, can't they? We toss and turn, give ourselves headaches, weigh and measure, shift with the wind, and turn ourselves inside out. How can your decision-making be made easier and less painful? Understanding your core values.

Seems simple, but most people are not clear on their priorities. Our busy and overwhelmed lives keep us from taking the time to become self-aware and learn what truly makes us tick, fulfills us, and gives our lives the most meaning. Once we become clear about our core values, previously wrenching decisions are so much easier to make! Just hold them up to our determined values and the answer stares us right in the face.

Here's an activity that will help you prioritize your values. Write a list of the most meaningful events and decisions of your life to date. Then study the list below and select the top 10 values that guided your behavior, whether or not you knew it at the time. Ask yourself - what rules do you want to live by? How do you want to be remembered? Don't take too much time, use first reactions and the process of elimination and pick the top 10 as of today. Values do evolve and flex to handle crises and major events...that's perfectly normal. Nothing you select is written in stone. Keep in mind that just because you don't circle a value listed, doesn't mean it's not part of who you are. You are prioritizing values, not throwing any out.

CORE VALUES - Family, Spirituality, Relationship, Growth, Nature/Animals, Comfort/Safety, Financial Security, Creativity, Freedom, Courage, Honesty/Integrity, Romantic Love, Joy/Fulfillment, Good Health, Recognition, Independence, Service/Giving Back, Travel/Adventure, Career, Power.

Once you've identified your top ten values, take another minute or two and circle the top five out of these ten. I know, this hurts. Remember you are not actually eliminating any values from who you are, just prioritizing.

Okay, now you've got it! Those five values are the parameters for your big decisions. Next time you get stumped, review these five characteristics and see which decision best honors them. Voila!

Click here to read Jane Sanders' Articles 

Click here to read GenderSmart Archived Newsletters