Here are a few more tips for women, or people with a feminine style, communicating with men, or those with a masculine style.

 

Give brief project updates whether asked for or not. (You are not bragging! If you don't communicate your successes to the powers-at-be, no one else will do it for you and your skills may be underestimated.) My horse, Beau always lets me know when the farrier (shoer) has been out, every six weeks or so, to trim, re-shoe, and polish his feet. When I arrive at the barn he trots a circle in his big stall as if to say, "Look mom, my feet are all purty again!"

 

Reduce personal disclosure and problems. Men don't bond and process the same way women do. Discussing personal issues makes them uncomfortable and they may view doing so as weak and unstable. So if you have this feminine style, be aware of how you may be being perceived and judged.

In this case, horses have the feminine style. Share as much personal information as you possibly can with a horse. They are there to heal, support, absorb, and love. Generally they love the human voice, and just want to be with their owners, even if doing nothing but chewing hay while listening.

 

Handle conflict directly, politely, with empathy. Be clear, to the point, but not rude or abrupt. If you are nervous about an upcoming confrontation, write out your thoughts to clarify and focus them.

Horses do not respond well to anger, rudeness, or indirect communication. Just tell them like it is, with clarity, clear intention, gentle firmness, and love in your heart. Wouldn't this work for people as well?

 

Make many decisions independently. Reduce asking others for their opinion for the sake of consensus and collaboration. Men often see this behavior as indecisive and lack of confidence.

Horses have the masculine style here...they are always looking for the leader. If they don't find him/her, they will take over. Someone has to be the leader around horses and for best results, it should be the human. Just step up to the plate and get things done. There are times for teamwork and times for leadership. With horses, calm, steady, fair leadership makes both human and equine the most content.

Stay tuned for more tips next month!

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