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Greetings!
Welcome to the July edition of GenderSmart Tips! This month I will briefly discuss the dangers of using add-on questions that tend to drain power from the user. This feminine-style habit can cause misperceptions about the speaker's confidence, competence, and credibility. I hope you find the article helpful and interesting.
Stay cool during the mid-summer heat!
Warm regards, Jane Sanders |
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 | Watch Out for Those Tag Questions! |
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Both Using Them and Judging Them
People using a feminine style of communication sometimes add questions to the end of their statements: "This is a good report, don't you think?" These add-ons are often referred to as "tag questions." Generally, these people have unconscious intentions of evading conflict, maintaining harmony, or avoiding "bossy" or demanding behavior.
To men, however, or people using a masculine style of communication, this softer approach or style sounds as if the speaker is asking permission to have the opinion that the report is good. It is often judged as being less credible, powerful, confident, or competent. Consequently, women or those using this feminine style are often overlooked for advancement or special projects.
The more masculine style would be, for example, "This is a good report", or more succinctly, "Good report." Can you hear the difference in perceived power of these statements? They make the speaker sound confident, knowledgeable, and credible. But it's merely a style difference! The speaker using the tag question is just as likely to be as confident, competent, and ready for a management position as the other person.
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| GenderSmart
Tip
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Avoid Using and Judging Tag Questions!
Generally, powering up your communication style, without being harsh, rude, or blunt, is a good idea. Avoiding tag questions will help increase your credibility and perceived confidence, therefore improving your chances of advancement, securing a mentor, receiving the project you fought for, or being included in peripheral meetings and informal gatherings.
If you have a more masculine style, avoid assuming that a person using tag questions is less competent or credible than anyone else. Take a little more time to get to know them and their capabilities before making judgments. Otherwise you may miss out on some stellar talent, opinions, and performance!
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| Quotes Of The Month |
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"Soon I shall go to sleep, in hopes of seeing him again. His intelligent soft eyes, his elegant head. His soft heart, and his four legs. For my horse is a dream, a dream of the making."
Lindsay Turcotte, hunter-jumper trainer
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Harvey Fierstein, actor and playwright
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You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as you include "By Jane Sanders, GenderSmart® Solutions, 877-343-2150, http://www.janesanders.com." Contact Information
Phone: 618-204-5540 Toll-Free: 877-343-2150
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