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Greetings!
Happy New Year and welcome to 2010! January's edition focuses on a common dilemma women (and some men) often face...either they don't know how to sell themselves, or, when they do, they are often perceived negatively as boastful.
Below is more information on why this happens and some suggestions on how to promote yourself.I wish you a happy, healthy, prosperous year! Be sure to call or email if I can be of any service to you in accomplishing your 2010 sales, conference, or training objectives.
Warm Regards,
Jane Sanders | |
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To Brag or Not To Brag
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That Shouldn't Be The Question!
...by Jane Sanders
Little boys who brag become the leader. Little girls who brag become ostracized and lose friends. Their mothers tell them, "Don't say that, you sound like you have a big head." Or, "No one likes a braggart!" Their friends judge them as being egotistical and boastful.
Generally, boys are raised in a pyramid hierarchy. Someone is always the leader, the boss, the chief, the coach. Girls often grow up in more of a flat hierarchy. They learn to downplay ways they are different or better. Men who coach their daughter's soccer team, for example, have told me they have trouble discerning the natural leaders on the team. The girls try hard not to stand out, not to rise above and beyond, so they don't lose their friends.
These social practices and norms constitute one of the biggest gender differences - they discourage women from selling themselves.
Little boys grow up being rewarded for taking charge and talking about their skills and accomplishments. They learn to ask for, and sometimes take, what they want. Little girls grow up with scant to no practice with promoting themselves. Men (and savvy women) spend 80% of their time at work doing the work, and the remaining 20% talking about what they do. The not-so-savvy and less experienced women spend 100% of their time doing the work, while simultaneously wondering why they're not being promoted.
Consequently, be careful not to evaluate someone's competence using their own descriptions and input, as they may be contributing far more than first glance would indicate. And if you are not already doing so, learn how to promote yourself!
Learn more on how to become a more savvy leader.
Click here to read more Jane Sanders' Articles |
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GENDERSMART TIP
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Learn How to Self-Promote
If you are one of the men or women who shy away from self-promotion, try reframing it. Self-promotion is not bragging, unless it's done repetitively and consistently. View it as feedback, or as sharing desired information, necessary for decision-making.
Pick your moments. Ask for a few minutes during a staff meeting. Send regular project updates to your boss. When you see higher-ups in the elevator or parking lot, say something like, "John good to see you! Hey I'm glad our paths crossed, I've been wanting to give you a quick update about the X project. Etc" Then make it short and sweet!
Start practicing, take baby steps. Practice on a friend or co-worker. Get used to ignoring the negative messages and self-talk your mind may give you. I've been teaching this for years and I still hear mind-junk that tells me I sound like I'm bragging. I have learned to ignore it. If I don't tell my prospects about the results my work yields, or about the happy clients I have, or that over 95% of my bookings come from repeat and referral business (A very high percentage indicating how satisfied my clients are), I won't be able to pay my bills! |
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Quotes Of The Month |
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"You take people as far as they will go, not as far as you would like them to go."...Jeannette Rankin, Suffragette, Congresswoman, Pacifist, 1st woman elected to Congress
"An instinct sympathy which makes the horse the master - one heart, one pulse, one understanding love - is never made, but born." ...George Agnew Chamberlain, author
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You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as
you include "By Jane Sanders, GenderSmart® Solutions, 877-343-2150, http://www.janesanders.com."
Contact Information
Phone: 618-204-5540 Toll-Free: 877-343-2150
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