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Greetings!
Welcome to the September edition
of GenderSmart Tips!
This month's issue discusses another feminine style
of communication - inclusive language - how it's often misperceived by people
with a masculine style, and a few strategies for success. Enjoy! Please pass
along to any associates you think might be interested.
AND, my new
9-minute video demo is now available on my website at http://www.janesanders.com/media/Sanders-Preview-09/index.htm.
Check it out!
Warm Regards,
Jane Sanders
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YIKES! IT'S NOT "WEAK"!
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It's Just Inclusive and Collaborative
...by Jane Sanders
Let's talk about inclusive language. Ha! Right there I used it
by saying "let's." Inclusive language is a feminine style whether it's expressed
by a woman or a man. A more masculine approach would be "I'm going to talk about
inclusive language." Can you see how the first style makes the reader feel a
little more included and acknowledged?
Another inclusive example would be
"How about we do it this way?" The masculine style, on the other
hand..."Here's how we're going to do it." Usually, the person using the first
style has the same intention - "Here's how I want to do it" - but softens the
delivery so as not to come across too pushy or demanding. Again, a feminine
style. There's nothing wrong with saying "Here's how I want to do it," nothing
at all. But neither is there anything wrong with the inclusive approach, and in
fact it is often more effective because people feel a bit less controlled,
whether they are aware of it or not.
The downside is that many people
with a masculine style perceive this inclusive approach as weak, or less
managerial and authoritative. Consequently, they often underestimate those using
this softer style, leading to passed over promotions and misunderstandings.
The solution, as usual with gender communication, is a two-way
street. If you have this feminine style, be aware of how you may be being
misperceived and power-up your communication without overdoing it...everything
in moderation. If you have the masculine style, be careful not to judge others
as weak or less competent. It's merely a style difference!
Click here to read more Jane Sanders' Articles |
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GENDERSMART TIP
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Inclusive Language Expanded
Another reason women use inclusive language is to downplay their authority with
male employees so as not to threaten them. Being aware of men's wiring for
status, whether consciously or intuitively, women often try to honor that
difference and avoid, what feels to them, giving orders. Women will say "What do
you think we should do in this situation?" whereas a more masculine style might
be "Just take care of it."
Again, the risk is that men may view this
more inclusive approach as weaker and less authoritative, therefore commanding
less respect. My suggestion would be to find a moderate approach that is direct,
yet communicates respect for men's status..."John take care of this please,
you've handled these situations successfully for us before." Actually this
approach would work for both men and women because it is balanced and
respectful.
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Quotes Of The Month |
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"For horses can educate through first hand, subjective, personal experiences,
unlike human tutors, teachers, and professors can ever do. Horses can build
character, not merely urge one to improve on it. Horses forge the mind, the
character, the emotions and inner lives of humans. People can talk to one
another about these things and remain distanced and lonesome. In partnership
with a horse, one is seldom lacking for thought, emotion, and inspiration. One is
always attended by a great companion."
Charles de Kunffy, famous dressage
trainer
"There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a
fundamental difference in someone's life."
Sister Mary Rose McGeady,
president of Covenant House, Manhattan home for runaway teens
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You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as
you include "By Jane Sanders, GenderSmart® Solutions, 877-343-2150, http://www.janesanders.com."
Contact Information
Phone: 618-204-5540 Toll-Free: 877-343-2150
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