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Greetings!
Welcome to the June edition of GenderSmart Tips! This month's issue briefly discusses one of the many aspects of a masculine communication style ... difficulty with asking for help. I describe why, and a few of the ways this
style impacts recruiting and retention.
Enjoy and please feel free to share these tips with your collegues and/or friends!
Warm Regards,
Jane Sanders | |
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Asking For Help
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How Not Doing So Affects Recruiting & Retention
...by Jane Sanders
Directions! That's the first thing that comes to audience members' minds when I mention that men, or people with a masculine style, don't like asking for help. Remember that men are wired for status and superiority...asking for help, in their minds, reduces their status and makes them feel inferior. They fear being judged by other men as less than.
Women, or people with a feminine style, generally don't mind asking for help. To them it's another way to connect, to make a friend, to build a relationship. Their misperceptions of men who don't ask for help or guidance include that they are know-it-alls, reckless, a little arrogant, and waste time (because they have to come back for re-instruction after going off on the wrong tangent due to not asking for clarity in the first place).
But those are
misperceptions...again it's just a style difference. Here are a few tips to
minimize the potential negative impact this communication characteristic can
have when recruiting or managing both women and men.
- Women, understand that this type of superior wiring was once a survival technique for men.
- Men, understand that unless you go to extremes, asking for help and clarification is viewed by most people as prudent and strategic, not weak or less competent. Doing so will likely increase the connection between you and female associates, because if you ask them for help, they will feel you respect their opinion.
- When coaching or interviewing women, don't always have all the answers, avoid appearing like a know-it-all. Use phrases such as "Here's what has worked for me and others in the office, would you like to try that approach?" Or, "My experience leads me to believe XYZ, what do you think?" Or, "I think we can do that, let me confirm with my team and I'll get back to you tomorrow."
- With male employees, ensure they understand your instructions and guidance. Ask them something like, "Do my instructions make sense? Is there anything I can clarify for you?" Avoid "Do you understand?" as it implies they aren't intelligent enough to get it.
Bottom line, it's all about open communication and understanding differences! If there's any doubt, on either side of the discussion or conversation, clarify before moving on. Better to be safe than sorry!
Click here to read more Jane Sanders' Articles |
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GENDERSMART TIP
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Space = Power
Or at least a perception of power! Men generally take up more physical space. They will cross their ankle over a knee, put their feet up on desks, drape their arms over chairs next to them, and spread papers out on the desk during meetings. Space conveys a subtle message of power. Women are generally smaller and physically more contained, so they are often perceived as less powerful, confident, and effective. So women, take up more space!
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Quotes Of The Month |
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"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."
Flora Whittemore, author
"The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears."
Arabian proverb
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You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as
you include "By Jane Sanders, GenderSmart® Solutions, 877-343-2150, http://www.janesanders.com."
Contact Information
Phone: 310-589-2212 Toll-Free: 877-343-2150
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