Generally, people with a masculine style of communication speak more briefly; offer fewer details, and focus on one issue at a time. Women, or people with a feminine style, often misinterpret this behavior as a lack of interest in connection, rudeness, or intentional withholding of information.

For example, say a female manager missed the weekly sales meeting. Passing a male associate in the hall, she asks him how the meeting went. He answers "Fine," and keeps on walking. Wanting more detail and connection, she asks "What did you all talk about?" He answers, still walking on down the hall, "Oh, you know, same ol' stuff." And she is mildly offended. She feels he is not interested enough in their working relationship to stop and talk with her about the meeting. She thinks he might be avoiding telling her something to hold power over her. Most likely, the truth is that by the time he is ten feet down the hall, he has mentally moved on to his next issue to resolve, the next problem on his list, and in no way meant to offend his co-worker.

It's important to recognize both sides of this 'silent conflict.' She would be better served by not taking offense, by realizing his behavior (or lack thereof) is not personal and is merely a style difference. And, he would benefit by understanding how his lack of engaged response may be negatively perceived by those with a more feminine style.

So, if you want or need more detail for any reason, ask more specific questions. "How was George's performance this week?" "What did the VP say about the new quota?" "What new ideas came up during the brainstorming?" To encourage focus and attention from people with this brief masculine style, speak concisely, to the point, and offer solutions rather than long descriptions of the situation or problem.

For those of you using this masculine style, increase the amount of detail you offer when talking with women or those with a more feminine style. Ask them detailed questions about their work and life so they know you are genuinely interested. Give people more of your time; try not to be in such a hurry. When you give a pat on the back, be specific with your words of acknowledgement so she knows you are sincere and understands exactly what you admire about her work (she can do more of that behavior and earn your praise again).

Remember the adage "It's the little things." These points may seem small (like details, ironically?) but they can be mighty in terms of their positive impact on your working relationships with prospects, clients, employees, associates and superiors.

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