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Iris First
Home for the Holidays: Setting your Intention
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Iris First
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My eclectic approach enables me to move quickly to the underlying causes of pain and distress, to empower you to live fully, and to make lasting changes in your relationships and in your lives.
Being Related

Welcome and Happy Holidays. I am excited to announce the launching of "Being Related", my newsletter with valuable coaching for your relationships.   I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share with you important tips and topics to having the most satisfying relationships and life.


human_relationshipsThe intention of each newsletter is to touch on various topics which we all commonly deal with as human beings. These newsletters will have you ponder, have insights and tips to implement in your relationships and your life whether personally or professionally.


I promise (as my creative writing professor said) "to make these newsletter like a woman's skirt long enough to cover the content and short enough to keep your attention."


I am truly grateful to all of my past and future clients and it is my greatest pleasure to serve you.


Please make sure not to miss the special offer

 at the end of the email

Home for the Holidays: Setting your Intention


"T'is the season to be jolly!"  Holidays are traditionally the time to spend time with  friends, family and loved ones and something to look forward to, but for most of us it is more of a mixed ball of wax.


From my years of experience with clients, the holidays bring up a litany of emotions from feelings of excitement to anxiety or both due to:

    • Wanting to please others
    • Unfulfilled expectations
    • A conditioned response to a family member or a family dynamic based on past history.

What if this holiday season can really be what it was meant to be, which is a time of joy, love and connection?


Here are some suggestions you may want to implement that can positively impact your family gatherings and relationships.


1. Focus on the love and affection for those thatholding-hands you truly care about and why you are attending the event to begin with.  If there are people who will be attending that are quite reactivating for you, ask yourself the question:  "Why am I so reactive to them?"  Chances are one or more of these things are present.

    • You have a triggered response to them based on past interactions.
    • You have an expectation of them to be different than they are (meaning they didn't do, say or react to something they way you would have).
    • They are mirroring some aspect of yourself that you do not recognize or accept.
    • You have a negative emotional account with them that you never communicated or completed. 

2.     Bring the gifts of good will and compassion. If compassionthe list above describes the dynamic that you have with someone, the holiday gathering may not be the ideal time and place to try to clear up the old emotional account. 


Depression photoTry to remember when people are under stress; feel embarrassed or hurt they act out in less than optimal ways.  Self reflect on the times when you acted less than optimally. Practice forgiveness for their humanity and your own.


3.     When clearing up an upset with someone remember not to blame them for your experience. Take ownership of your own reactivity. 


An example of this would be, "When you said I wasembarrassed ridiculous I felt embarrassed" as opposed to "you made me feel stupid, when you said I was ridiculous."  In the first example you are accepting responsibility for your reaction and the second example you are blaming them for your reaction. These are subtleties that make the world of difference.


I wish you a Holiday season filled with love, joy and gratitude!




Iris First
Iris First, M.S. Relations Coach

Special Savings: For a limited time only


"Holiday Crash Communication Coaching"

  • Learn to how to communicate about upsets with love and have them disappear!
  • Clean up family feuds before the holidays
  • You can use these invaluable communication tools with personally and professionally

Two 45 minute sessions by phone or Skype $175 (save $25)

Must be purchased by 12/15/11 and appointments completed by 12/23/11


Bookings sell out fast! 

  Email or  call me today at 914-490-6851and reserve your time!

Why relations coaching? 
  • Relations coaching is a form of coaching that primarily helps people learn and discover more about themselves, others, and how they relate to others.
  • Individuals, couples, families, small & large organizations benefit from relations coaching as they engage in relationships in a more authentic and empowering manner.
  • As a relations coach, Iris First, brings all of her personal and professional experience to the table in an energizing and genuine way.
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