Smile
Etiquette
It's
happened to me thousands of times…but it still surprises and
disappoints me. I'm walking in an office building, in the public spaces
or in a client's office. I'm in an airport, or at my local grocery
store. I'm at Wal-Mart. And, because I pass close to someone, near
them, walking by, standing in line, our eyes meet.
And
they look right at me, know that I see them, and they don't smile.
Folks,
this is rude. It's not "not rude" if you're "not the smiling type".
It's not "not rude" if you find it "uncomfortable". It's rude ALWAYS.
This is the price one pays for being in public spaces where you can
fell reasonably safe and secure. Civility is the grease that
distinguishes us from animals in the wild. Smiling is a basic civil
behavior.
When
you are in a public space, or some sort of common space, it's
inappropriate to make eye contact with someone and then look away
without smiling.
Smile.
It's polite. It's not weak (hell, it's powerful!), it's helpful, and
costs you nothing.
Smile.
Seriously.
More in
this vein: when you are asked if you want more coffee, or more water,
or to be helped, it's inappropriate to say, "I'm fine." It's not even
okay to say, "No thank you, I'm fine."
The
person who is asking has not asked you for a personal update. They
haven't enquired about your well-being. It's not polite of you,
honestly, to offer that. It's the start of over-sharing.
I've
heard many of you tell me, well,
but I'm trying to be egalitarian… I'm giving them the
benefit of the doubt, they're so nice to be taking care of
me…These are
non-sequiturs.
The
right answer, if you don't want anything, is simply, "no thank you."
With a
smile.
One
more thought about smiling: want your children to grow up looking forward to their
working lives? [Duh.]
When
you get home, tell them about the good parts of your day, and smile
when you do it. Being grouchy and tired doesn't send the right message.
And enough of the bitching for heaven's sake.
If you
don't like your job that much, two choices: Choose to smile and tell
them why you value your job – the freedom, the money, the
house, the clothes, the warmth in winter, the food.
Or, get
a different one.
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