There's No "Why" In Feedback
When was the last time you intended to do something wrong, and it turned out just as you had expected it to, WRONG?
No? Of course not. What happens to us is that we do what we intend to do, what we believe is the best and reasonable thing to do, and it doesn't turn out well. That's what happens to everyone.
So what good does it do to hear your directs' rationales for WHY they did what they did?
But even before that, ask yourself, why do most directs (you and me included) want to tell us about WHY they did what they did?
Because they don't want to talk about the outcome, because they know it's bad. They'd rather talk about the WHY, which of course is good.
But what does it matter? IF someone intends well but messes up regularly, are you going to want to hire them? If you do THAT, you have to be comfortable with your firm (an aggregation of all the behaviors in the firm) saying to the marketplace, don't judge us by our products or services, judge us by the fact that we MEAN WELL!
The Manager Tools Feedback Model doesn't address WHY someone did something because (a) the WHY is always good, and (b) the market doesn't reward intent, it rewards outcomes.
So the next time one of your directs insists on pushing back on some negative feedback you gave, and wants to tell you WHY she did something as she did, smile and nod, and (shot across the bow) let it go. If you must, simply repeat step 4, to help them see it's not about intent, it's about results.
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