Smiling
At Strangers
I spend a lot of time in other
company's offices. And that means I walk up and down
hallways, and make eye contact with people I don't know.
I've been doing this for 20+ years, and about the only thing
that's changed is the dress codes. One of the things that
hasn't changed, even though I had hoped and wished it would,
is how so many people look right at you without
smiling. For some it's a personality thing, for some
I'm pretty sure they're engaging in a power move:
"I don't have to smile at you, I outrank
you." Regardless, though, it's all ineffective. It
happened to me recently. I was in a hallway, and walked right by a guy.
He looked right at me, looked into my eyes, and gave no indication that
he had seen anyone. He certainly didn't smile. He acted as if
I didn't even exist.
An hour later, though, he knew I
existed. My client, his boss, had just introduced us to each other. I
could see the look on his face when he realized that he had just
ignored me. He knew it, and I knew it. What he didn't know
was that after he left his boss's office, his boss asked me
what I thought, and I told him he wasn't a nice guy. In his
role, managing 15 people, lots of whom were friendly and outgoing, it
was going to be a problem. The boss then said, "yeah, we've
been getting complaints".
Look, you're going to
come into contact with folks you don't know. If you think
that not smiling is a good thing, you're wrong.
It's rude. It doesn't matter what your standing in
the company is. If you come in contact, even in passing, with another
person, the appropriate and professional thing to do is smile.
You don't have to
start a conversation. You don't have to care about them. You
don't have to know who they are. Your smile is not an
obligation to be someone's best friend. It's not a
sign of weakness, or lack of strength (in fact, just the opposite).
It's not a start down a slippery slope that ends with you
hanging out together. A smile is just a non-verbal professional
greeting. The lack of a smile is perceived as a slight by many in your
organization, particularly if you're a senior person or an executive.
You D's and C's, this isn't normal for you. We know. Too bad.
(Spreadsheets aren't normal for I's and S's, and we expect them to be
proficient with them nonetheless.) The obligation of a minimal
professional greeting isn't applied only to those to whom it comes
easily. It applies to everyone. Smile at strangers. Hey, they might
know your boss. ;-)
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