| About Sharon |
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Sharon Barnes is The Scrap Lady. She helps people create beauty and benefit from life's scraps. Her specialty is helping creative, highly sensitive and gifted people to cope creatively with adversity. She does this through Counseling, Classes,
Playshops and Retreats. You can find out more on
her website.
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Greetings!
Welcome to LifeCraft! And an extra warm welcome to all our new subscribers. We are glad you have joined us. LifeCraft email newsletter brings you:
- Tips to help you thrive, not just strive.
- Tools to manage your stress and balance your life.
- Training in how to increase your personal power.
- Techniques to transform your pain into gain.
- Support to Craft a Life You'll LOVE to Live.
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CSIGY's Secrets to Overcoming
Holiday Blues - Creative, Sensitive,
Introverted Gifted People
 In the northern hemisphere, December brings darkness, and with it
the blues and for some, depression too. As the loss of light
progresses, veils of separation may also thin, connecting us more
easily to our inner depths. Old issues we have dealt with can
resurface, sometimes with an intensity that belies the work we have
already done with them. Typical CSIGY (Creative, Sensitive, Introverted, Gifted)
issues such as inferiority, perfectionism, and belonging rear their
ugly heads with a vengeance. New ones may wiggle in, too. Then there's
the waning economy; the holidays; you name it. The darkness outside us
joins with the darkness within us, looming larger and larger.
The calendar year is winding down and a new one is quickly creeping
up. We may find ourselves thinking about where our lives are compared
to where we wanted them to be by now. Many people do this; what's
different for CSIGY's? CSIGY's are likely to set the bar so high that
it's never reachable. We're not satisfied with our accomplishments,
even when others are. We also may have higher levels of concern and
anxiety for the future, based on our broader, deeper awareness of
issues and their implications.
December may also be a time of reckoning in terms of relationships.
How are our relationships doing? What relationships, some of us may
say? We may be acutely aware of the research that shows how much
healthier people are who are part of a community. But community can be
especially difficult for CSIGY's. We're highly sensitive introverts -
so taking time and having the energy for interpersonal relationships is
very difficult, if not impossible at times. It's easy for CSIGY's to
feel like misfits. We may have been, and felt like outsiders since we
were children, so we may have concluded that we didn't belong and
couldn't fit in.
 Like the legendary reindeer Rudolph, we may have tried to hide or
camouflage our gifts so we would fit in and be accepted. As is often
the case, the coping mechanisms we developed in childhood to survive,
no longer serve us as adults. It's time to recognize that the
conclusions we made when we were young - that as CSIGY's we are total
misfits and therefore we don't belong, don't deserve and can't have the
good that we want - is not accurate.
When we were young, these conclusions may have helped us make sense
of our differences and difficulties. Now they imprison us. And yet
they feel so necessary. In fact, there seems to be an inverse
relationship here. The more crucial they were to our survival as
children, the more essential they seem AND the more they mess us up
now. Our differences are real. Our emotions are real. Here's the
kicker: the conclusions we drew about them, and their meaning is not
real. Just because we feel stupid or small or helpless, does not
mean that we are. Just because we feel inferior, inadequate or like we
don't belong, does not mean it's true. After all, we drew these
conclusions when we were very young, usually by the age of 3-5. We
don't have to let a four year old run our lives now; yet we do when we
live by the decisions we made back then.
 Like Rudolph, we can transform our differences into assets by our
recognizing our unique gifts, and using them to make a positive
contribution. In the legend, Rudolph saved the day by leading the way
for Santa to deliver his gifts. The very characteristic that got him
ostracized became his entree' into acceptance. His nemesis became his
greatest asset.
Also like Rudolph, you can stop ignoring your pain; you can stop
hiding your gifts so you can maximize them to save your life and the
lives of others. What bright red nose is shining in your life? What
difference are you trying to hide? What bright red alarm signal in your
life are you trying to ignore? What in your life has made you feel like a misfit? That is your goldmine. That is where to look for your gift. This is what you can transform and activate to make a significant difference in the lives of others.
How do we overcome the Holiday Blues and December's depression? By
befriending - no - embracing the previously feared darkness within that
we overcome this darkness and let in the Light. What do I mean by going
into the darkness to find the light? On a practical level, one example
would be washing out a wound. Several years ago, I fell while riding my
bike and landed on one knee. I washed it out, but in my high
sensitivity, I didn't have the 'stomach' for the pain involved, so I
didn't scrub it out deeply. I kept telling myself, "tomorrow it will
hurt less, and I'll do it," but it didn't stop hurting until well,
until after it healed, with the dirt still embedded in the skin on that
knee where it is to this day. I apparently cleansed the dirt in my
washing it, as it never got infected. I went partially into the dark,
but not all of the way, so I still carry some of that darkness within
me.
Another example of going into the darkness to find the light would
be exploring our resistance to something we say we want to do. I want
to exercise every day, or that's what I tell myself. But when it comes
down to it, it's too cold outside (or too hot in the summer), I don't
want to stop other things I'm doing (or they take longer than I had
anticipated, and I don't want to stop until I'm finished) so I can go
to bed earlier so I can get up earlier so I can exercise before I go to
work. What is that glass ceiling in my life between what I say I want
and what I want ENOUGH to give up the other things I will have to give
up in order to achieve them? I can only find out what it is by
exploring the dark recesses of my life, by digging and scrubbing deep
enough to ferret out the depths of what is going on inside me.
And how can that be done? There are many ways, probably as many ways
as there are people. Journaling, praying, meditating, talking things
over with a friend or family member, reading stories, essays and books
that others have written about the area we are struggling with, the
list could go on and on. You may have noticed that one of my favorite
ways to dig deeper in my inner life is to combine several approaches in
one. I make something that metaphorically represents some aspect of my
dilemma, and follow that artistically and imaginatively until it takes
me to a new place. In that new place, I have new awareness, new
insight, and new energy to take back to my life and apply to my
dilemma. Also, as I pursue creative projects, sometimes a symbolic or
metaphorical connection with some issue in my life becomes apparent as
I work on it. I have shared a number of these in previous newsletters.
I also like to walk in nature and meditate on what I see and hear
and consider what lessons it has for me and the dilemmas I am facing.
Another of my favorites is stream-of-consciousness journaling, where I
write every thought that enters my head, and I do it for a designated
number of pages or amount of time. That can take my thought process
deeper or broader, or make new connections, and in an uncanny way,
transport me to a new mental/emotional/spiritual place.
 I'm wondering what YOUR favorite ways are to "enter the darkness in
order to find the light". Click here if you're willing to share a few words about this.
Click here to get our free report, Holiday Stress Tip Sheet
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If you have found this helpful, please forward it to a friend.
Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW,LCSW - The Scrap Lady!
The Academy of Creative Living
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